They take away my books my jounals saying, “They’re what make you fail” All I want to do is yell the truth. You are what’s making me fail your the cause of my fucking suffering. YOU ruin everything, you make me die. But I stay silent. I always stay silent. Never say no, they always say. You dont know how much I’ve cried, cut, and starved myself, I’m dying and I know it, but I don’t want to stop, I want to die. Maybe I need to bleed out instead let it be faster. Let me die in peace and not your horrid screaming.
I try to smile, and say I’m fine. It’s ust getting harder to do. I’m cutting more then offen, and I’m cutting deeper. The blood gushes out and I feel better but only for a hour or two. Maybe I should just die, just let me bleed to death. I’m sick of being that perfect girl but I can’t seem to let go. I want to but I can’t. I need all the prizes, trips, awards, and fake love. It’s what’s killing me and keeping me alive.
1. Don’t let them see the real you.
2. Smile
3.Don’t believe anything you hear
4. Never trust they will only betray you
5. Never give in to the voices
6. Try to survive
I put a big fake smile on my face, it’s my mask I wear to pretend. They say a smile makes everything better, so thats what I do. Smile. They won’t ask questions, they won’t see the truth. I need this smile, but it always fades, slowly gone. By the end of the day I fooled everyone, but at night I cry, I break down, I’m slowly dying. I don’t know what to do, should I give in? And lose my smile, lose it all. I have to pretend, I need it. It’s what’s keeping me alive, and what’s slowly killing me.
I try to not think or face anything. If i say it it will become true, and why make it true if your starting to believe your own lies? Its so much better living in the dark pretening then facing the ugly truth. I think to myself live through the day, cut away, everything will be fine, I wont eat, or sleep, I’ll put on my fake smile and act like the person everyone thinks I am. “She’s perfect” they say. Beauty, intellegance, they say I have it all. While in truth I’m dying, I have scars, bruses, cuts, and my memories. They don’t know nothing, they don’t know what I go through, […]
They think I’m perfect, good grades, popular, pretty, thats what I hear about t
me. But is it true? I don’t think so…. I’m not good enough I never am. My grades aren’t good enough, yes in have straight A’s but I need more. I’m not pretty, I’m to fat, yes I am a size one but It’s not good enough. I lie each day, act like I’m okay. Because I need to be okay and if I say it enough times, I start to believe my own words, but secretly I know its all a lie. I hear the voices, I see people who […]