Author

vertigo

by vertigo 6/5/2016

written by vertigo

[bandcamp width=300 height=42 album=2984011359 size=small bgcol=333333 linkcol=e32c14 track=4154901195]

Talk to me in your sleep
Of all the places you’ll go and the people you’ll be
I wanna die in your dreams
Please don’t talk about me

And I don’t know what to think
I’m sick of finding myself at the end of a drink
What use am I to you
If I can’t stand on my feet

You keep grinding your teeth
Do me no harm, rip me apart at the seams
I’ll steal the pain from your bones
I’ll make it mine when you leave

Said you wanted to die, I think I know what you meant
Peace […]

6/5/2016 0 comment

A while back, I was thinking about the idea of martyrdom and the nobility of dying, from which I came up with the notion: what if some of the martyrs that sacrificed themselves for the sake of others wanted to die? People like to think of martyrs being dealt an unfair hand in circumstances where their lives are sacrificed in exchange for the life of one or lives of many. And this would be the case, unless the hero or heroine already had a death wish. Like a true opportunist, they wanted their final going out to be noble and selfless, so they extended their suicidal temperaments for the sake of […]

6/3/2016 2 comments

Drowning

by vertigo 6/2/2016

written by vertigo

I recall a metaphor for depression that went something like this: “tipping into an episode, [depression] is like everybody else is onshore and I’m out in the water. I keep trying to get people’s attention (even though it is against my nature to bother or burden anybody) and I’m waving my hand. Thinking I’m greeting them, they wave back. That doesn’t seem right so I’ll put a hand up again. And they wave back. And this goes on and on and on, for what seems like forever and nobody understands that I’m not waving, I’m drowning. And that’s what [depression] feels like to me.”

The desperation […]

6/2/2016 4 comments

Death by Metaphor

by vertigo 6/1/2016

written by vertigo

You get really good at hiding it.
Because, really, nobody could have time for you. You can’t make sense to them. Which close aunt did you lose, they’d ask, if you let even the remotest bit of it show? When did you break-up? Why did they do that to you? Why so sad, ‘all of a sudden’? But, no… There was no event. Nothing traumatic to empathize with. It’s just a slow flesh-eating bacteria, an impregnable eerie silence, a hopelessly dark room, that if embodied as a phantom, would torment you even when you aren’t alone or shouldn’t feel alone in the company of people. […]

6/1/2016 1 comment

vertigo

vertigo

Martyrdom

Drowning

Death by Metaphor