I ask the question why?  Why we want to take the only thing what has given to up by our parents? Like i have said in my other posts, i tried to kill myself 3 times, and every time it got worse, until i nearly died. I took the pills and tried to hang myself,  and it was the best  choice for me at that time.  I wanted to die so bad, a fantasised about it and it was only precious thing for me. I just loved the idea to die. I thought that i am just a burden to everyone and my time is to leave […]
I can count it even 3 if the flat tire would not have happen. Today was the most serious attempt of them all, before i just attached the rope on the tree and put the knot over my neck, but today i jumped and stroke the ground. 2 of the branches broke and i was up on my toes with failed attempt. Then i tried to put the rope higher and i failed again because some mother f***er drove on the road with his dirt bike and i had to came down and drive away because i think he had called me cops or something. […]
I dont know why i am writing to this place, but im going to end this existence in 2 days. I going to to this by hanging because it seems quite peaceful way to go besides of jumping and cutting. Â I have read i think to many news and personal stories and i really do know what i am doing. I have a job and a loving family but i am an idealist, like my psychiatrist said and i just cant live like this anymore. My body i just a burden to me, i have tried everything to fix my life, make it near ideal […]