I finally decided after almost a year to seek some help again. The doctor had a cancellation and was able to bump me up for today rather than two weeks from now. While talking i realized that I can’t open up. I’m always vague when i try leaving the doctor to be vague as well which only pisses me off. Why do I expect the impossible of others to see that I am dying inside? Either dying or slowly going insane. I can’t be left alone anymore. Every time I’m alone the worst comes out. I lose all sense of reality which drives me insane […]
It’s been almost two years since my last attempt, but the feeling of a near-end still lingers on. I’m not going to say nobody loves me because I know they do, I can feel it everyday. Truthfully, I’ve come to terms with these pushing thoughts and yearning urges that I have. Yes, I’m depressed but I believe most of that depression comes from the fact that I can’t die. At least I can’t die by my own hands.
I want to die, I really do but I don’t want to want it. Mainly for the people that care about me. Although I know they care, I […]