Author

jrd79808

Yeah, it’s happening

by jrd79808 10/10/2014

written by jrd79808

After much thought and consideration, I have decided to end my life. I may have only been here for 19 years, but that’s 19 years too many. Life has been harsh to me for too long. I have a condition that’ll shorten my life span anyway, so I may as well cut to the chase and get it over with.

I have forgotten what it feels like to be truly happy in life. Sadness and depression have defined me for so long, I don’t know how to feel anything else. There hasn’t been a day in my entire life when I woke up and thought, “I’m […]

10/10/2014 4 comments

I hate myself

by jrd79808 10/10/2014

written by jrd79808

Ever since I was a child, I was never really happy with who I was. I always looked at other people and wish I could be them. Everyone is smarter, funnier, wealthier, stronger, more attractive, and/or just better off than I am.

When I was about 7, and later at age 11, I was sexually assaulted multiple times by two different people (a cousin and a fellow Boy Scout). I’m still traumatized by those experiences, but I believe I deserved it because I never said anything to stop them.

When I first developed depression, I started self-loathing. At age 13, I was diagnosed with a medical condition […]

10/10/2014 5 comments

My Stay in the Mental Ward

by jrd79808 10/9/2014

written by jrd79808

In March 2014, I was sent to the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. Here is my experience.

One day, I had an appointment with my doctor, during which we discussed my depression. He asked me if I ever attempted suicide. I said yes, and told him about the previous day, when I had tried to hang myself but was interrupted by my dad. My doctor told me to promise not to try again. My response was, “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” With that, he walked out the room without a word. He was gone for a long time-at least half an hour. Suddenly, the […]

10/9/2014 7 comments

What’s the point?

by jrd79808 10/4/2014

written by jrd79808

This is my first time posting on this site. I just want to share why I’m considering ending my life.

I’m a 19 year old male from Hawaii.

I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible.

When I was a child, I was coerced into sexual acts by both a cousin and a “friend” (at different times in my life).

At age 13, I was diagnosed with a medical condition known as Marfan Syndrome and was told that people with this disorder don’t live very long. All throughout middle and high school, I was teased because of this condition.

I spiraled into a deep depression, and my grades started […]

10/4/2014 10 comments