I should just let him fuck me whenever he wants. Even if I have his words playing in my head over and over. Even though I’m so stressed out that my period actually stopped for two months. I tried to reach out to people. Tried to find a friend in those who were there before but that was a mistake. I go online and type “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t”. Found ONE article in which the answer-er was sympathetic. The rest were all leaning towards compromise. “It’s your obligation as a woman to meet your mans needs.” Go fuck yourself you […]
Today I decided that tomorrow, I’ll be taking my 15 year old chihuahua to get euthanized. She can’t stand and soils herself. So I carefully and lovingly clean her and use a small syringe (without the needle) to give her some baby food and her pain medication. The bones sticking out from her sides tell a story I didn’t want to read for a long time. Her inevitable demise.
Today, my thoughts were filled with my 4 year old’s open heart surgery. I am unable to work because he is having major issues in school… They only keep him for 3 hrs every day. I’m his […]
I’ve been wondering what you all (out there in cyberspace) consider to be the answer to your problems. I know there are some out there who feel there is no hope at all and they should just end it all. You could be sitting in your room right now about to do some thing you can’t take back. So why not give this a thought? What would help you?
I once attended Job Corps in my early twenties. I found that having EVERY THING planned out for me really helped me develop a routine that I couldn’t/can’t do on my own. It’s been years since I’ve […]
Every one around me seems to be dancing and having a good time and I’m here fumbling to the beat like a love struck zombie. I don’t know when this started becoming normal to me. When did I begin feeling so rejected? Was it when I was a teen and my mother just some how knew I’d be a loser? At least she gave me options to how low I could possibly go on that scale and I’m… proud… to say that I am NOT a heroin addict. IN YOUR FACE MOTHER!
Every time I’m outside, I look around and feel this overwhelming feeling that nothing […]
I don’t know who I am today. I know who I use to be. I miss her. Her smile and determination. Her drive and passion. She was unchained. Unbound. Lust filled but just enough to reach the brim of her being. She use to have sex with strangers and kiss them goodbye like a long sentence spoken in one breath. And despite that she was classy with a twist. No one could tell her how to live. Her eyes filled with energy that radiated to those around her. Her heart attracting those who needed a little adventure and a lot of acceptance of things they […]