I’ve been wondering what you all (out there in cyberspace) consider to be the answer to your problems. I know there are some out there who feel there is no hope at all and they should just end it all. You could be sitting in your room right now about to do some thing you can’t take back. So why not give this a thought? What would help you?
I once attended Job Corps in my early twenties. I found that having EVERY THING planned out for me really helped me develop a routine that I couldn’t/can’t do on my own. It’s been years since I’ve been there but for months after attending there, I was much more active in keeping a clean environment and actually getting myself to move. My mind constantly runs on dark thoughts and feelings of emptiness so when every thing was done for me, I didn’t have to think much about what I was supposed to do and just followed a list.
Wake up at 6 AM
Fix the bed
Complete the chore assigned to me on that day
Head to school
Complete another list of tasks pertaining to the trade I was in (I didn’t do too well with this)
After school go back to the dorm and do what ever the heck you wanted.
Simple things. My JC center was in the middle of the woods and QUITE beautiful. So my closest friend and I would sneak off campus deep into the woods to smoke some marjie and meditate. It was the most peaceful and wonderful experience that I wish I could experience again. We had VERY limited communication with the outside world so the campus was practically life.
I didn’t complete my time there. I had an altercation with a young lady that I tried to help… but it blew up in my face some how and I pretty much let my emotions get the best of me, so I left. That was a mistake. I miss that life. And I’m sure if I had continued, it would have probably helped me get some where much farther than I am now.
Would you try to die without dying? Escape some where beautiful and secluded, where every thing is planned for you and all you have to do is follow? Leave behind every thing and every one you knew until you could feel yourself coming alive again?
A lot of the stress I experience comes from the people around me and their perceptions of me. I don’t care what anyone says, a lifetime of being judged can either turn you into someone who cares too much or someone who cares too little. Both are detrimental.
How would you feel to go some where, where every one suffered more or less the same? People who understand your plight in every way and wont tell you that you’re just a lazy waste of life… or have assumptions of who you are or who you’re suppose to be?
How would you feel if this place was staffed with people who DO NOT think pills are the answer and are there for you? Filled with classes ranging different subjects from building your drive to learning how to feed your body and soul?
What is YOUR cure??