family and friends repeat the same words, “itll get better, itll pass with time, this is just temporary” but it isnt, they dont understand how much pain ive been in, and when i get up to do something about my sadness im told im crazy, why would i do that, maybe i am crazy, but im trying yo find my happiness, what im doing now, the journey i took over the holiday week, i may not come back alive, but i am reaching out and trying to grasp my happiness, wish me luck, if this is my last post then that means i did not […]
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
Since suicide by starvation alone takes a considerable amount of time, ive decided to drink smal doses of anti freeze mixed into my gatorade, i posted yesterday stating i was beginning the starvation process but ive actually been on it for 5 days so far including today. ive gone fr 170lbs to 161lbs so far and feel like death figuratively, but thats probably due to taking my anti anxiety meds without food. Like many of you i wanted the least painful way to go. I dont suggest these methods. i will update with how the antifreeze affects my body in a couple of days.
i have researched for numerous ways to commit, today i begin my journey to end this pain through self starvation. Ill post periodically to inform about the process. its been a long fight, and the fight to live is finally over.
I am 24 years old, i have been fighting depression for about 4 years now. It all began when the girl i was in love with for 5 years was raped and she became different and left me. i have attempted suicide once and failed, i was locked up in a suicide watch institute for 3 days (worst thing ever they take everything from you and you sit in silence wanting to die even more) luckily my sister worked there and got me out. My current gf recently left me because i was too depressed of a person, i loved her with everything i had […]