Or maybe I just need to drive my car into that tree off of the highway.
It’s really bringing me down. One time after the other, I’m rejected and my world is torn apart because of my sexuality. Some days, some times, it seems appealing. So it happens, and then poof, I feel like I could never have sex again. I’m bored by it, it makes me sad to follow through sometimes when I’m trying to make him happy, but I don’t know what to do about me because I don’t know who I am anymore…
I’m lost. Going crazy. And I feel so alone every day.
Everything is slipping and I can’t be saved
so now we play the waiting game.
We are all running ourselves into the ground for a matter of nihility after death, breaking our backs in support of a system that is crumbling apart and feeding off of us like the sheep that we are. I can’t do it, I’ll suffocate. I need MY life at MY hand and in perspective, suicide is the only way I have control. I feel like a free energy barred in a disgusting body, being forced to walk the line that endlessly loops itself around the world in contempt, leaving no area untouched.
I do not have the proper guidance, I do not have the finances, I […]
I am so unwell.
This house is quite still..
The air is bitter cold and the streets are a lonely shade of shell white.
I consistently long to see the same color underneath my skin. A quick slit severed into my copiously scarred canvas. The split second to ten before the blood red pumps in from the heart, fills over the tissue, and does away with my awe. What comes next is tranquility. Warmth. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I need more.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Until I can’t take it. The whole routine is enthralling, really, but I won’t get into it.. Anyways.. I know that soon I will disappear. I […]