We are all running ourselves into the ground for a matter of nihility after death, breaking our backs in support of a system that is crumbling apart and feeding off of us like the sheep that we are. I can’t do it, I’ll suffocate. I need MY life at MY hand and in perspective, suicide is the only way I have control. I feel like a free energy barred in a disgusting body, being forced to walk the line that endlessly loops itself around the world in contempt, leaving no area untouched.
I do not have the proper guidance, I do not have the finances, I do not have the efficiency as a human being to even put my feet on the ground each morning, and I definitely do not have the heart. The only thing I have in this case is a bodily survival instinct which is clearly only holding me back at this point.
This is not a question of stability, no, but of something far darker. Something that is buried deeply into the squishy gray matter that supplies each of us with tangible, dynamic entirety: The simple realization that you, everything you encounter, and everything extant is a big, cosmic joke, and nobody is laughing.
How can I keep swimming with my head afloat through a lake of shit when my mind is so heavy, and with no finish line in sight? And surely I’d rather fall asleep alone at shore than drown in shit, right?
I could have sworn I had the answers, once.
20 comments
I agree. We are groomed to serve the machine… We sign our life away for a piece of the “pie” and most live grueling, unfulfilling lives. It is not the life we were created to live.
Nothing but an instilled fear stops us from going off the grid, though. Smoke and mirrors.
Apparently the comment I posted was spam. I didn’t think it was made out of pasty meat, but the spam filter probably knows something I’m unaware of.
Damn dude… You are making me hungry. Fried spam and tomatoes sand witch with mayo. Mmmmmmm
Better than spam, canned unicorn meat is the best product for sandwiches. You can buy it on amazon – just search for unicorn meat. 🙂
Yeah, I heard about that… You ought to read up on what parts of the unicorn they grind up to make that stuff, though.
You can also buy canned uranium ore there – some of the reviewers on the site warn that if you feed it to your children, they may start glowing and develop superpowers.
I saw that, its right between the emergency disposable underpants dispenser and the liquid ass and canned farts
Seriously, though, that liquid ass stuff is potent… there’s a bunch of vids on YouTube showing what happens after it is used
I just found a product on there called, “Zombie Blood Energy Potion,” with this description: ” 1- Similar nutrients to real blood 2- Lifeless lime flavor 3- Up to 4 hours of energy 4- Disturbing source of electrolytes 5- Zombie mutagen free 6- Only 45 calories.”
I need me some of that.
There’s zombie jerky too.
I’m going to kill myself and you’re all talking about zombie jerky.. ;(
If you are going to kill yourself…why are you here reading this? Ahhhh There are lots of people who use this as a coping method. Diversion and distraction…and hell sometimes just for the fun of it. Suicidal people are allowed to have fun when they can aren’t they?
But they really probably should not have done it on your post. So sorry my friend. WE are all paying attention now.
Love and Light
Ama
Kahlia
I agree this was very disrespectful…but it is your post and you can remove any or all comments that you find offensive. Please don’t let this keep you from coming to help us. We’d like a chance to help you too if we can. Either way… you are welcome here. Please give us a chance to try to make this up to you. Would change it if I could…but I am not in control…I’m barely in control of myself some days. 😀
So Sorry
Ama
I actually wrote a rather long, quite relevant reply, but it got sent to the spam folder for god-only-knows-why. I apologize for my part, I didn’t mean any disrespect. 🙁
Dear kahlia,
The pain and suffering does not have to be an endless cycle. It can stop with you if you choose. You have the heart or you would not of wrote this. Ask yourself the questions……is this right, if i was a business would the shareholders agree, would the stakeholders agree, is it moral? Ask honest questions of everything and be your own guide. Do not take my word for it. Think about. Would you let me make decisions for you? There is darkness buried inside, that is only because there is light inside you too! light cast shadows and there is an equal balance in life. Let the light shine! Don’t worry about the finish line, focus on the road step by step to the finish line
Good Morning kahlia,
I have book marker this post and i will continue to check back here for a few days to see if return. I humbly ask you to overlook the hijackers of your post. Those two individuals have hearts that are in the correct place, their comments were just out of place/ or at the wrong time. Many times here, this community uses laughter as a coping tool. These comments are long running jokes here (like spellcaster jokes) they were not meant to harm. If you do break down the comments you can see how they went from true compassion to unicorn meat in a quarantined comment. Whit the ADHD that is here, sometimes that is all it takes of the OP is not here to straiten us out. In short, we care and we are here for you.
Thank you.. Sorry to be away, I don’t always have internet access.. It’s okay, I’ve just been in a bad mood, feeling close to the end. :/ Nothing makes sense, I can’t even focus. Too many pills.. Sorry. I ramble…
Aw, dicks.
Nonsense is not rambling, i would like to listen. Please tell me more
Maybe you could e-mail me?
I would find that to be a great privilege to email you kahlia, I need you email though. Mine should be on you screen, captainsquirrel123 at gmail .com