I just wanted to say thanks, for every one who wanted to help me on here. I’m sorry it was all in vain though. I’m not completely set on the idea quite yet, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve killed myself. Hopefully tonight. Maybe I’ll take a bath, cut my arms, take every pill in the house, and put a belt really tight around my neck and somehow strangle myself. Think that’ll work?
i just want to cut so bad, i can even see the exact places i’ll do it. my hands shake when i’m not holding something, my skin crawls, and itch that can’t be satisfied. a thirst that wont be quenched. i need to cut. but i’m afraid to even get up. because i know exactly where something is. and if by some chance it’s not there, i know where a lighter is. a burn would last longer, hurt more. give more of a release. but i can’t. it’s wrong, forbidden
especially at work. I was talking to my friend who’s a cashier, and I ended up telling him that a friend of mine said I should start dating again. Apparently my ex was listening in and now he’s all sad and pissy with me because he think’s I’m over him. I’m BEYOND over him. What I’m wondering is why he gets to have an opinion, when I wasn’t allowed to care that he kept telling me that the barista at the starbucks where we had our first date is hot, and how his friend in las vegas thinks he’s cute and wants to go and […]
what do you guys/girls know about me? could you tell me who I am?
I’ve been having dreams about hanging myself. I already know that I’ll most likely fail at it, so I really don’t think I want to try, but still.
Life’s too short to even care at all, oh
I’m losing my mind losing my mind losing control, oh oh
These fishes in the sea they’re staring at me oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum
Oh
If I could find a way to see this straight
I’d run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
I’m waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down.
Life’s too short to even care at all, oh, oh
I’m coming up now, coming up now out of the blue, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
These […]
I’m too much of a coward to die already, but I’m too hurt to be ok with living
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the […]
I don’t even know WHAT to feel. Much less HOW I feel
ever have those days where you don’t even know what to post, or what to ask for? you just kinda wanna button-mash and be done with it? well…
alg ;fj;aedaog;hhvgoihareh’po9u)(*^*%&KH;iohj;oiyauehiaf.
yeah
apparently i wasn’t strong enough. wasn’t good enough. wasn’t better than that
He’s the asshole. I stick around after all he did to me because I care about people, way more than I should. I get a message that he’s afraid he’d hurt himself, and I freak out and unblock all means of communication so he can talk to me because I kept thinking he was DEAD, and then I hear he’s all ok, just fell asleep and didn’t message back because he decided to play his damn computer games. I say one fucking thing wrong, ONE, and he goes batshit crazy, calls me all sorts of names (that I know are already true) and then says […]
you know how you try to say one thing, but mess up on saying it (or in my case, typing it) and the person who hears it (reads it) gets offended because of what you said? yeah, there now. I already feel bad enough that they took it the wrong way, now he’s calling me an “evil bitchass **** who enjoys his pain”. I don’t even enjoy MY pain. now I feel like shit, just when today wasn’t too bad
hospitals suck. that’s all I have to say about it
He actually responds to the name “Satan”…
You know how, when you actually do sleep, you end up sleeping on your arm? You know that feeling when you wake up, like the arm isn’t there, but you know it is? Well, I no longer hurt…I’m just that “dead-arm”.
Everyone falls off the wagon, and it hurts. So why climb back on? You know you just run the risk of getting another injury. Or, maybe someone pushed you off the wagon…why give them another chance
So, I’m really starting to think that I am insane, I swear I keep hearing people when I’m alone…
on top of everything else, now I’ve got a stomach bug. yay…
You were that foundation
Never gonna be another one, no.
I followed, so taken
So conditioned I could never let go
Then sorrow, then sickness
Then the shock when you flip it on me
So hollow, so vicious
So afraid I couldn’t let myself see
That I could never be held
Back or up no, I’ll hold myself
Check the rep, yep you know mine well
Forget the rest let them know my hell
There and back yet my soul ain’t sell
Kept respect up,the best they fell,
Let the rest be the tale they tell