Author

lezbehonest94

Did It Again.

by lezbehonest94 3/5/2015

written by lezbehonest94

To me there’s a difference in self harming and actually wanting to dir. I’m no coward. Like I’ve said. I won’t end my life bc I don’t want my remainging family to live with the fact that they didn’t listen. Knowing what I’m capable of. And knowing I’m not afraid. They still go about.

I want to die so bad. And I think in all honesty this would be fair to me. But as you see I can for these fuckers around me who don’t care about me. Selfless. Fuck… I cut deep and watch the blood run out. I feel alone..and dead already its so […]

3/5/2015 1 comment

Bitter Sweet

by lezbehonest94 3/4/2015

written by lezbehonest94

My wife came and stayed with me last night. And brought one of our kids. I missed her. We lived together. Then we were separated due to her fake beatfriend/roomate giving her altimatums on me being there. Today is the fifth day we’ve been living apart. Last night went great. Of course we bickered about what has been going on and stuff sence I’ve been gone the house isn’t a home . its been turned into a frat house. She promises to have me back home soon. She promises to have me back in her arms. In our bed with our pup and our normal […]

3/4/2015 3 comments

Drugs

by lezbehonest94 3/3/2015

written by lezbehonest94

When the narcotics… The pills. .. Anything mind altering is gone..is when I feel everything the most.. I’m 20.. I’m a addict…I had previous problems before mentally all that I already posted on it….

I’ve noticed… I still feel like dieing when I’m high and I still attempt. But I find my self sober being maybe more successful in the near future… Drugs make me feel numb.. I no that. Mind altering and blah blah. I just want to stay high all the time. To like literally keep shit off my mind. But its getting more and more intence… I can feel it coming soon. I […]

3/3/2015 3 comments

Engaged Love But Alone?

by lezbehonest94 3/2/2015

written by lezbehonest94

I’m engaged. She’s the most beautiful person in the world. But I feel so fuckin alone like.. I no she’s the one for me. Recently her roommate don’t like me and made me move out so I did just that . we’ve grown distant quickly. Three days I’ve been back at my grandmothers house. And she has broken promises and knows of my problems… She’s driving me over the edge …yes I’ve told her…and I beg of her not to keep hurting me… But …she doesn’t care… Not text no calls back she’s slowly breaking me know in I’m fucked up in the head… Why […]

3/2/2015 3 comments

Alone.

by lezbehonest94 3/2/2015

written by lezbehonest94

I’ve never felt this alone. Day by day I get worse. I don’t no if I should admit myself. Or what. I no I can’t handle being the way I am. I’m not afraid of death it seems quite peaceful. I don’t want my family to find me . last night I took a lot of sleep aid enough to trank a horse.. Unfortunately I woke up this morning , yes. I was angry so angry. So I was determine to find something I wouldn’t wake up from.. And nothing. SSomeone just please give me some advice… Please..

3/2/2015 11 comments

I’m exhausted..

by lezbehonest94 3/1/2015

written by lezbehonest94

I’m contemplating suicide for and more. Sence I was about 13 I’ve had suicidal thought. I thought life was hard then. I’m 20 now. And I’ve thought of how I’m going to end my life everyday almost all day for the past month. I was addict of methamphetamines eight months ago. Now I’m on pills . it’s one addiction for another. I no hat for a fact. At 13 I was cutting then I went to getting tats .

In 2013 I love my grandfather…then my mother on Christmas eve night 2013. I use to have everything o ever needed. And now I’m literally nothing. In […]

3/1/2015 1 comment