I overdosed on insulin yesterday at about 11am. I took enough to kill about 10 people, let alone 1. Somehow I’m still fucking here. Not even in hospital. What the fuck!!!! I wish it worked but now I’ve run out of insulin so I can’t even do it again. It’s a fucking joke, someone just kill me. I hate life. I hate all of this. For fuck’s sake.
I think I’m going to kill myself this week. I said the same thing about a year ago, and things have only got worse since then. I can’t cope anymore. I have no friends, I don’t get along with my family, and life isn’t worth it. I’m done.
The other day, I hit myself in the head so hard everything was white and silent for a fleeting moment. The physical pain is more bearable than the emotional one. I’ve had a headache and felt sick since then. Oops.
It’s hard for me to know
Where everything went wrong
Nothing’s getting better
I’ve felt bad for so long.
I’ve fought my inner demons,
But now it’s time for me,
To end this life I hate
And finally be free.
I don’t want to be mourned,
I don’t want you to cry,
I just don’t want this life,
Please; let me die.
Mum, don’t be upset,
I don’t know when I’ll go.
It might be this year,
I honestly don’t know.
I’ve got a guilty conscience,
For what you’ll go through.
Don’t blame yourself, or anyone
It’s what I want to do.
I don’t want to live. I’m going to pick a time that will upset my family the least, then I’m done.