I am 18 years old and in my second semester of college. I live in the dorms. Although I no longer live with my parents I can not let go of their beliefs. Of awful childhood experiences and memories. My heart is sick from carrying my Mother’s beliefs. The ones that weigh me down most are her beliefs about men. My mother has raised  me to judge all men as bad people, criminals, fuck ups. I can’t start relationships with guys because I mistrust ALL of them. I am trying incredibly hard to move past this indoctrination but also not lose all my sense and […]
I know I am depressed. I know I need help. I have felt that I am lower than EVERYONE else since a very young age. Around nine or ten. I am now eighteen. I just can’t keep my life together. I feel like shit every day and it is getting to be too much stress. I was just spending my evening with a nineteen year old guy who lives on my floor. He invited me over to watch a movie and get drunk. I really just want a friend. I said sure and went. He claims he had no intentions…other than getting to know me, […]
I was molested when I was younger by a friend of my family. This was when I was about five. I have another memory of being molested around age nine or ten. Â I began having terrifying and recurring nightmares soon after these experiences. I told my mom what happened to me on my sixteenth birthday because the dreams were intensifying. She never believed my story…. I was close to my mom. Her doubt hurt me even more than the pain of the molestation. The rest of my family does not know about what I have experienced.