I know I am depressed. I know I need help. I have felt that I am lower than EVERYONE else since a very young age. Around nine or ten. I am now eighteen. I just can’t keep my life together. I feel like shit every day and it is getting to be too much stress. I was just spending my evening with a nineteen year old guy who lives on my floor. He invited me over to watch a movie and get drunk. I really just want a friend. I said sure and went. He claims he had no intentions…other than getting to know me, he enjoys my company, whatever. He kept encouraging me to drink more…. I am about 105 pounds, and 5’1. He is of course larger. I drank, and drank. I got a buzz. I shared more than usual. FUCKKKKKK. I have NO BOUNDARIES. WITH ANYONE. When will I be able to say what I want, do what I want, feel comfortable? I feel like fucking shit. I have never stood up for myself. I have never had a genuine friend who cared about my welfare. I am still not all there as I write this. I just want people in my life who love and care abourt me.