If I kill myself today, everyone will be at peace for the rest of their weekend. No one will stop by until the festivities are over. I will finally be free.
Well at least that’s my hypothesis.
the truth to why I act this way. They can’t see that I’m just a robot saying and doing everything they say. Why I don’t see the details, just the outlines and why I look unresponsive and cold. Nobody knows because nobody cares.
The greatest contradiction to contradictions is the truth.
how can they love if they never felt loved?
when all they do it take, why do I willingly give?
why do I run and hide when I need to protect myself?
why is the only happiness I ever felt the reason for my suicide?
…….. is to tell you the lies.
everyone is lucky in their own right, but why do we all only think of the negatives in our lives? why do we complain about the rain when we know it’ll provide us with food to eat and water to drink? why do we yell at the guy who cut us off on the highway when we’re lucky we didn’t crash? why do we want to kill ourselves because we’re “alone” when there are others who actually know the pain we are feeling?
I mean no disrespect to those who take offense. It was just a thought.
I am numb. I lost all feeling in my body both physically and emotionally. I can still remember the sensation but I just can’t feel anything anymore. I try to remember what being happy felt like or what sadness felt like, but I can’t anymore. I spontaneously cry for no reason, and when something happens that I know will make me happy, I act like it does, though I don’t feel happy. I feel nothing.
love is a drug. Feel it once and you’re hooked. I wish I never knew what it was like to be in love. I’m better off just ending life here at peace with the fact that I’ll never find another who will love me, than wasting my life chasing after a lost cause.
I don’t see any purpose in my life. I don’t even know what I’m suppose to be doing. I’m tired of running around in circles.
I give up.
I finished my last final for the year. I thought I would feel a sense of accomplishment or some breath of fresh air. Instead, I was anxious. Scared. Shaking even. I don’t know why, but I felt like my world would crumble once I got my results back. It was raining and usually the sound of rain would calm my nerves, but nothing could keep that thought out of my mind. What was I suppose to be worried about? I studied nonstop for the past 2 months for that test. I knew the answers and now that that’s done summer has officially began. My freedom […]
I haven’t really told anyone about my pain I feel. Whenever someone asks me if I’m alright I usually go into auto-pilot and act all cheerful and bubbly, like they expect me to. But I can’t go on living this life, this lie everyone expects me to live. They want me to be a professional. They want me to be a model. They want me to be perfect; like the rest of the family. I try to reach their expectations, but I always end up failing one way or another. I’m fat, I never had a boyfriend, I’m not intelligent, and I never heard a […]
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