I think I’ve finally figured it out. I live on the 15th floor of a NYC apartment. I think it’s fate. All I need to do is go out the window. I think they knew I’d end up here and that’s why I got this apartment. I’m done. I’m on my way out. Thanks for everything suicide project. It’s been real.
The reaper beckons again… and this time I will surrender. I have been living on borrowed time. I was reading through my previous posts and I realized that I should have done this a long time ago. My struggles have only gotten worse with each year and now it’s come to a point where I don’t really see any future for me. Over the past 5 years, I learned to deal with my depression and anxiety. I can confidently say that I am no longer depressed, but I also don’t see the point in life. Despite the issues I had in the past, I have […]
Hello everyone,
I’m back here again. I think I know the answer to the question “Is life better than the alternative?”. Its not. I mean how can it be? As I sit here is my dark room, I can see that I’m not alone. I have a companion who likes to sit in the dark just like me. Usually he just sits by himself in the corner. But today his gaze is upon me. He is beckoning me. “Its time” he whispers. “Come to me. I will take you to a better place”. I don’t think I can resist him anymore. Its weird, I can almost […]
I feel so tired. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. However, in recent years I have been distracting myself from these thoughts by trying to convince myself that life is better than the alternative. I would always tell myself “I’m going to try living to the fullest today. I can always die tomorrow.” There are days when this works and there are days when it doesn’t. I feel tired because I have to continuously keep convincing myself that life is worth living. Its been almost two years since I started living this way and I’m still not fully convinced of it.
So I tried the helium hood kit today. I purchased the flow control kit and pressure guage from exit and bought the balloon time tank of the recommended size, checked the pressure to see if it was full, made the exit bag as per the peaceful pill books instructions and guess what?… IT DIDN’T WORK!!!! I was sitting there like an idiot with the bag around my head for about 5-10 minutes and I didn’t loose consciousness! I felt a slight tingling in my toes and my voice got extremely high but that’s about it. What a waste of time and money! I spent about […]
Like the title says, this is just a rant about my trials and tribulations. I don’t really know if posting my story will be of any use to anyone but I just couldn’t leave this world without anyone knowing about it. I guess someone should know, even if they don’t really know me. But in all honesty I don’t know if anybody really knows the real me. I wear a mask and pretend to be “normal”. So nobody really knows. They’ll probably never find out either because this page doesn’t link to me in any way. But I figured somebody should know my story and […]
Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
I’m thinking of using the helium hood kit method but I came across quite a few people who say that it doesn’t work. I think the purity of the helium matters. So I’m thinking of using industrial grade helium with a high concentration of helium. Does anyone have any comments on this?