I am occasionally convinced that no one in this world will ever love me. I don’t know if it’s true. I am experiencing one of these occasions currently.
I have people that will tell me they love me, if I ask. This causes me immense guilt. I know there are folks who don’t have this grace.
Nevertheless, I don’t believe any affirmations. It is because I feel they hardly know me. I am an anxious person. I am an introverted person. I don’t like new situations. I don’t like new people. Even the few people I’ve known for years feel like strangers to me. I […]
I can’t bring myself to consciously cut open my own skin, but I found out that I CAN play knife roulette–and the cuts I receive with each slip-up feel much better. Additionally, if anyone asks about the scars, I can just tell them about my “parlor trick”.
You know what’s hilarious? I will literally never be good enough. Hah…. hah…. heh….. And that’s the fastest way to get myself to break into tears. Great job, me.
I think I was 6 or 7 the first time I considered suicide. I really didn’t want to go to swim class–such a stupid, stupid reason to want to die. Nevertheless, I locked myself in my room and considered how to kill myself. I decided on a knife. I wanted to slice myself open. The knives were in the kitchen, though. I put on my swim suite and went to class. But from that day on, death was in the back of my mind. By the age of 10, I was mentally rehearsing my suicide note nightly and crying myself to sleep. My room was […]