MissMeganJoy

MissMeganJoy

I have been considering suicide for years but have been to scared to try it. I am just going to say this now. I do act like a normal teenage girl but that is because I refuse to let people see the real me, the suicidal me. I put on a mask because I dont want anybody to see how weak, messed up, and dark I am. I have good reasons and here I will show you what they are. My mother left my father and I when I was less than a year old. My dad was a truck driver to sustain us and our little two person family. I would ride with him as a child and he taught me to read and write while he would drive. When we finally settled down and moved to a small town I started kindergarten. By the time I turned six, they decided I was "too smart" to be there. I didnt want to go and most of all, didnt want to leave my friends. No one cared. The bumped me up a grade and now I am the youngest of all of my peers. People do, in fact, tease me and bully me about this. Still. You would think that after about nine years, people would get used to the fact that you skipped a grade and are a year younger than everyone else. But I get bullied constantly and I am sick of it. I come from a rough past. I told you guys a little bit but that was just scratching the surface. I told you, as a child my dad had to work hard to sustain us and keep us off the streets. Eventually, social workers caught on to the fact that I didnt see very much of my dad. They put me in a foster home. I was transfered to many different foster homes but I dont remember most of it. I do remember one day vividly. It was my third birthday. I had a party with the other foster kids in the home and my foster parents. They had told me that my dad would be there for my party. After he didnt show up for two hours, I got it through my head that he wasnt coming. Later, he did actually show up. I heard the door open and I ran to see if it was him. It was. I ran to him and I was so happy to see him. He left 10 minutes later. It only got worse from there. Lets just say I have been depressed since a young age. My life has clearly gotten worse. I came upon this site after I googled suicide stories (The wonderful world of google). I only googled it because I am supposed to be doing a report on Suicide for my creative writing class. I thought it was really ironic because I have been pondering suicide for a long time now, as you can see. But I decided to make a profile here to talk to others who think the same and...yeah. Thats about it. If you wanna hear more, ask. So... Bye.