I push you away, but i keep going back for more. I utter the words and maybe after all this time they’re not true. It’s me I don’t trust believe me its not you. Not even you can take my pain away. I want to leave this world, but I know I have to stay. So God if you’re out there please hear my cries. I try and shut out the world tired of their lies. The more I try, the more I feel trapped. “She was such a good girl” they’ll say. “Until she just…..snapped.”
I wake up every morning and think please God not this again. Put on a fake smile, laugh and pretend. Pain on the inside, but no one can see. Like being stranded on an island longing to be free. Don’t know how much longer I can bear this weight. Must think of something before its too late. The only thing keeping me alive is fear. The passing of each day and the falling of each tear. I don’t know how much longer until it will all end. But for now I’ll continue to pretend.