It’s been one big shit storm the past few months, with the past few weeks bringing more pain than I could bare. I botched an attempt two weeks ago which landed me in the hospital. As a result I have lost my apartment, my health insurance, my disability and my sanity. At almost 6 months pregnant my only options are to depend on my mentally unstable grandmother for assistance, and a “mother” who has her own life sort out. The pain, and uphill battle are too much to bare at this point, and I have checked into a hotel this evening with my helium materials […]
I was picked up out of my home and thrown into a mental hospital on 12/30/2011 for a week so it really thwarted my plans of ctb before the new year. I left the hospital with a false sense of optimism, and now I’m sitting in my apartment on suicide websites again…..feeling like my soul is dead and I’m just going through the motions because that’s what I was told to do. Truth be told, I have no idea what the next day or weeks ahead of me hold….I know today was a shitty day, not sure when the glimmer of sunshine will show through […]
I’m catching the bus before the new year, but I’ve been keeping up with the posts and wondering. Many mention finding hobbies to stay busy. What’s the point of being alive if you’re just existing? Chasing down hobbies to keep your mind off of offing yourself doesn’t seem like a very fulfilling life. So out of curiosity…what’s the point?
For ********? I’m desperate and will travel by bus to Tijuana to get it….but I would like a reliable source first.