The lonelier I feel.
People are so miserable, arrogant, and in most cases, idiotic. Why should I have empathy for any of them?
The weak do not survive
I mean, my life is shit and my existence is meaningless. But logically there is no reason for me to want to kill myself. Yet I cannot stop thinking about it and doubt I ever will.
As much as I try to stay grounded in reality and base my ideas off scientific fact, I cannot help but feel that something otherworldly is altering my thoughts. I don’t hear voices but I very frequently experience things that nobody else does, and can feel evil presences around me at times. I really hope I’m not getting schizophrenia.
It is really too bad they’re fucking everywhere…
I spend my free time in my room playing games and listening to the spirits speak to me. They aren’t any kinder than my cruelest bullies, so it isn’t much fun.
I do okay in school in a tough major, but sometimes everything gets to be too much.
I just want to lay my head on the train tracks nearby. It seems just as good a choice as any.
Our race is self destructing
Everything is so chaotic right now. I predict a very dark day in the US soon :/
I don’t know what to do. My sanity is slipping away. Everything is swirling into darkness. I’m going nuts. I can’t do this anymore.
It isn’t optimal, and I will hurt a lot of people by doing it, but I need to die soon. Should I drive up to the train tracks and wait? Lay my neck across the tracks and hope that my body will run around like a chicken after my head is cut off? Or, god forbid, buy a gun? Such a convenient and reliable way to die.
Fuck. I should do this soon. Write a note to my family. Get all of my […]
Just about every night they come over me, and they’re getting intense. What am I supposed to do?
Was assuming that hate is the polar opposite of love.
I zone in and out of class at least once or twice (or dozens of times in a particularly uneventful lecture). And it’s far from the typical daydreaming I used to do. My eyes widen and I nod my head as I am overcome by ethereal sensations. Loathe as I am to mention his name, I imagine my face looks exactly like James Holmes sitting in that fucking courtroom. One of my professors asks his students questions quite often, and it is a class of about four people so I get called on routinely. Many times I have no idea what he just asked or […]
I haven’t “written” in years, but this wonderfully horrible story keeps popping in my head.
Makes me realize just how sick I really am.
As I was reading an article about a particular monster of recent events who should not be named, something a former teacher of his said about him got to me. Selfish much? Well anyway. The teacher said that despite getting A’s in difficult subjects he was a second rate student.
This is an enormous fear of mine. Despite getting good marks in school I always feel inadequate. Perhaps I too am a second rate student who just tests well.
Fuck.
I wish I could discreetly mark certain people so I remember to avoid talking to them and not rescue them from a house fire. Plus the rest of the world could benefit from knowing the shitheads and emptyheads from the semi decent folk.
But alas, I cannot.
How many times did you lie today? To others? To yourself?
I keep losing count. Especially of that last one.
My brother and his girlfriend, they’re Clowns. There really isn’t that much I can do about it other than warn the people here that Clowns are everywhere (likely even someone close to you) and the Circus is coming to town. It will be interesting and as I said before all we can really do is wait for it all to end and enjoy the ride.
They’re coming. I see it every night. At risk of sounding like a 2012 buffoon I truly believe the End Times will arrive in our lifetimes. The foundations of society are eroding beneath us. Even in America the chaos is getting harder to ignore. Every other week we hear about another man going on a shooting spree. Violence is ramping up everywhere. Racism and hatred have turned the human heart into rotten mush. The truly good people are quickly being outnumbered by the fast breeding emtpyheads. A world with only emptyheads is not a world at all, but a timebomb.
So why am I telling you […]
If done safely with the purpose of alleviating emotional pain, what’s the big fucking deal? Can somebody shed some light on why such a practice is so shunned and ridiculed in our society? Because as an alternative to suicide (no duh) or using drugs it seems like it would be the better tool.