I don’t know whether to cry or laugh. I’m so god damn done. I’m done with living and feeling like absolute shit.
Yet, I can’t even kill myself. Or cut myself. That used to be my escape and now it doesn’t help at all.
Today, I kept jerking the car, knowing my step father would feel pain. And I wanted him to. I wanted him to feel a fraction of what I feel everyday.
And my half sister wouldn’t just shut up. I screamed at her. And I would’ve kept screaming at her but my step dad told me to […]
I’m so frustrated with how tired I get. I want to sleep all day, every day.
And I’m so annoyed that when I FINALLY get up the urge to clean my room, do my work, etc. my parents give me so much crap.
It’s like them giving me crap about my room isn’t enough. They have to give me crap about when and how I clean it.
It makes me soo angry!!
And then when I tell them how annoyed I am. They’re just like, “Well it only takes 5 minutes to clean up your room. I don’t see […]
I’m suffocating.
I don’t know any other word for it.
I’m slowly suffocating in this life and I’m dying inside.
My mother asked me today, “Would you mind if I smoke?”
She knows that I HATE when she smokes. I’ve tried to help her stop smoking for the past 13 years and it seems like every time I think she;s getting better, she’s just faking it.
She told me she hopes that I can forgive her.
But how can I forgive a hypocrite? When I started smoking, she almost threw me out of the house. When I […]
I hate our society.
I think I have hated it ever since that first moment that I actually understood it.
I hate how we’re all so god damn attached to cell phones.
I hate how we judge immediately because that’s our instinct.
I hate how I know so many kids with mental problems because our society has shaped them and previous generations to cause it.
I hate how everyone, especially myself, is just so FREAKING SAD ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
I hate how I go to school, I worry about our financial situation more than anyone, I’m […]
I really hate how I can tell someone to keep going when I know that I can’t keep going myself.
I hate how I’m there for everyone but when I need someone, all I have is myself.
I hate how I cry myself to sleep at night because I have actual problems and yet, there are kids my age who’s only problem is whether or not they want to actually vacation in Paris this month or not.
I hate how people don’t care about certain things like homelessness and bankruptcy until they have to experience it first hand.
I […]
I told them I wanted to leave. It didn’t have to be far away, just away from here.
I need help and I know it. They know it. Everyone seems to know it.
I can’t get help while being here.
I’m becoming a monster. Aggressive, verbally abusive to others, physically abusive towards myself. I’ve just about given up on myself. And all anyone cares about is that fact that if I leave, it’s like I’m abandoning them. THEM!
Like, aren’t they abandoning me by only caring about themselves? They aren’t looking out for my best interest. I could kill […]
I’ve attempted suicide over ten times.
I’ve never been raped or lost someone close to me to death. I’ve never been homeless or starving. I’ve never run away or snuck out.
Instead, I’ve smoked and drank. I cut and I burn. I think about my death often.
I remember when my parents found out how suicidal I was. My mom laughed and then continued smoking and my step father joked about keeping me away from his tools. They never put me in a hospital, and only took me to therapy once.
They put me on a bunch of meds, […]
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