Today i had a lighter and thought about how it would feel on my skin. But i am to afraid of the unknown to try. I love the way a blade feels or even a pencil back and forth. I need help. My mind is so filled with hatred and resentment. I know that i am asking for help but if i am telling the truth i will not even accept it. I am no good. People come in and out of my life so quick. I just want someone who not gonna walk out of me because of something i say or do. I […]
Ok i know that all of y’all are probably tired of my lame ass story. I am too. I wish that everything just wasn’t so messed up. Today i felt like everything was alright and then i started thinking and i really it’s not. Yeah i know everybody has their problems but i want a break. I want to be able to be free. Trapped by my own mind. Shame. I am not look for a shoulder to cry on anymore. I will cry my tears but i won’t ask for help. I will do what i do best and hide behind a fake […]
Am i worth it???
Am i worth this pathetic life?
People see me laughing and smiling but inside i’m dying. How can my life be so complicated??How do i go on?? Do i even try?? I just honestly am struggling with the pain i feel inside.
I am so confused. Why do i constantly think things will get better. I swear i will never think like that again. What’s the point??? I hate me…so i know you hate me. No surprise. Fuck this shit. Fuck trying.
What the fuck…why do i even try. Like deadass i am tired of silent tears finding there way down my face. Omg why or rather what am i doing wrong. I say i don’t need you but i am lying. I do need you. Please help me. Please….
That moment you realize they were right. You are nothing….never will be. What am doing wrong that people see right through me. Wish bad things on me. Is it cause i am not pretty enough…or because i just not what you want. That moment everything clicks. That moment when getting on your knee’s praying to god begging him to end it become a norm. People just don’t realize how easily easily easily easily there words can influence someone decision. Like i wish that i wasn’t afraid to just do it. I know that as the time pass on me being afraid will soon fade. I […]
I feel like life holds no purpose for me. I want to die. Everyday i wake up and ask myself is it over. Why did God make me so inadequate? I hate being here. So many times I’ve tried to end my life. They don’t work. I cut but the hurt still finds its way back. I can’t live with feeling unloved. Unheard. Misunderstood. Alone. Confused. Hated. It hurts being me. I smile but no one knows how much it takes to do that. I make it look easy but its not. I just need someone to help before i make the next step. I […]
Is it wrong that every night my tears stain my pillowcase. No one notices i often slip back into the mindset where i just see no point. Everyday i pray to God to give me the courag e to end it. Why am i not good enough??? Why???? I just want it to be over not tommorow, not the next day, but today. I hate myself. I hate my life. No one cares about me. No one loves me. I am giving up. What do i do????? They can’t tell that my will to live has disappeared. They can’t tell that my leg shakes because […]
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