Author

noairtobreathe

EIGHT YEARS on this site

by noairtobreathe 2/8/2021

written by noairtobreathe

Lmao I’m feeling this type of way tonight to come onto this site and checked my post history and I’ve been on this goddamn site for EIGHT YEARS now. Granted, it’s been on and off, but Jesus Christ. You’d think if I was going to, I would’ve done so by now. My first post is from when I was only 14 and now I’m recently turned 22. What a fucked up life.

It’s honestly hilarious when I look back on my old posts and read how broody, nihilistic I was. At least now I can laugh at my pain instead. I’m very grateful for […]

2/8/2021 3 comments

A shitty night

by noairtobreathe 9/15/2018

written by noairtobreathe

So many times over the past few years I’ve been suicidal. I know it becomes really bad when I come here. I went out tonight. I never imagined when I was younger that I would have friends that cared about me. I know now my family really does care. But somehow I still don’t. I still have the urge to end my life. It gets better and then I trip off something and I feel the need to end it all. To take away my thoughts. I really wonder what my purpose on this earth is for. I don’t feel like I have one. I […]

9/15/2018 1 comment

I’m done.

by noairtobreathe 9/4/2016

written by noairtobreathe

I don’t know how to say it nicely but I’m done. I am so tired. Tired of living a lie. It’s gotten progressively worse this summer, to the point where it’s 10x worse than it’s ever been since I developed depression several years ago. No one cares about me, I know that. I’m the one to message others, to call them, to love them, not the other way around. I know I’m unloveable. I don’t know why, I have theories, but I know it’s true, it’s been proven many times. I imagine it must be exhausting for others, my “family” and “friends” to pretend to […]

9/4/2016 1 comment

Soon

by noairtobreathe 2/26/2015

written by noairtobreathe

I think I’m going to kill myself soon. I’m not sure when, but I’ve started to formulate a plan. So many times before, when I’ve thought of ending it, the people I loved and cared for held me back. I don’t have that anymore. It just hurts knowing I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve to get an education, to travel, to own nice things, or have other people love me unconditionally. My entire time on this planet has just been reinforcing this idea the entire time. I’m tired. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

2/26/2015 1 comment

One day…

by noairtobreathe 11/22/2013

written by noairtobreathe

One day I know I will die because of suicide. It may not be today, or next year, or ten years from now, but I am certain that my life will end one day because I end it myself.

11/22/2013 3 comments