I have just graduated high school and in high school a few of my friends developed eating disorders and got extremely thin. I remember being worried about them and thinking what they were doing was crazy and trying to think of anything I could do to help without harming our friendship. As I got older and gained weight while some of my friends didn’t because of their disorders or over cautious dieting, I started to feel self conscious about my size and disliked my body a lot. Also with all of the media portrayal of perfectly skinny girls I felt very ashamed of my size […]
I was doing so well. I was happy, my family was happy with me. I was helpful instead of a burden. I was trying so hard to please myself and everyone around me. My mom took my sister on a trip I was dying to go on. She had refused to take me on it the year before, but agreed it would be worthwhile for my sister. I was upset, and a little bitter at first. But I decided to get over it and just be happy and help out around the house over spring break while they were gone. My dad works all day, […]
One thing happened. This one thing was so similar to what had happened in the past. It was horrible, shameful, embarrassing, and suddenly I felt as helpless as I has two years ago when I almost killed myself.
Two years ago after confessing to my mother that I wanted to die, I began seeing a therapist, got medicated, and slowly began to feel better. I have had two great years. I slowly distanced myself from the things that made me feel suicidal or just things I associated with bad feelings. I kept many of my relationships, but distanced the ones that had hurt me in the […]
I cut again today. It was the first time I had in a while, for at least a month or two. I came home from a birthday dinner in a normal mood. I had somewhat attempted to make plans after the dinner but then decided it was too much effort to try and figure out what people were doing and I was kind of tired. I felt like people didn’t want me to hangout with them after, but I’m almost certain it was all in my head considering I didn’t put out very much effort and I’m also somewhat known as wanting to stay home […]
I started cutting a little bit back in March. I had never done it before then. I was panicking, crying and really upset and angry with my family. I didn’t know how to calm myself down and then i just picked up a pin and started poking at my wrists. Eventually I bled a little bit and it freaked me out. I did this twice in the spring. Then I was doing better but tonight I got really upset again and jealous of my younger sister. I got really mad and felt really helpless. I didn’t know how to handle myself again and grabbed the […]
What it’s like to live under a bridge.
Living under a bridge can be rough. It’s dirty, muggy, and this often results in the troll being grumpy. The troll has good reason to be grumpy though. Not only are its living conditions disgusting, but also it gets to hear the footsteps of those above him all day long. All day…clunk thump; people walk by without noticing the grumpy old troll under the bridge. The troll didn’t used to be so grumpy. He was born into a nice family, but he was a fidgety troll. Therefore, his family began to dislike him and identify him as being […]