Ever felt so worthless, and worse not being in control of your next moments? I’m here wishing I’d be dead the next moment. I’d love to have a 2nd chance to put things right, but I think I already fucked up too bad & too far to get a chance.
I finally managed to take a long trip out on my own.
I reported to work early morning like I always did but left in less than an hour. I have very limited cash & that puts me on the edge even more.
I can’t face anybody I know because I know resentment they would have. So I’m under pressure to end this quickly.
I hope to make it through.
I never pursued the kind of career I’d have wanted. I never thought it would affect me much. Just one episode I got quite depressed in my first year of campus. Somehow I went with the tide, until the bouts of self doubt and depression came back in my final year. I had absolutely no interest in what I was studying. I would drink heavily during these moments and then have lots of undone assignments which would just result into further depression. I sought help from an online service and somehow scraped through.
Problem is, the same problem is back. I got a job […]