I never pursued the kind of career I’d have wanted. I never thought it would affect me much. Just one episode I got quite depressed in my first year of campus. Somehow I went with the tide, until the bouts of self doubt and depression came back in my final year. I had absolutely no interest in what I was studying. I would drink heavily during these moments and then have lots of undone assignments which would just result into further depression. I sought help from an online service and somehow scraped through.
Problem is, the same problem is back. I got a job but I have absolutely no interest. Should be reporting to work tomorrow morning but I have lots of work with deadlines tomorrow. I wish I’d have a way to disappear from society completely. I wish I’d end it all this moment and not have to face the depressing reality of another day at work. I wish I’d end it all right now.
4 comments
Is this job related to what you earned your degree for? (This is the field you don’t care for, right? ). What do you want to be doing?
Hey, I’m in the exact same situation as you. This is my first year and I’m studying because my parents are forcing me to (they have this sick fantasy where I’m a successful student. Of course I don’t care at all, but I can’t leave either. If you have enough money, why don’t you try traveling somewhere?
Just try to keep doing the right thing for now even if it is not easy. In the meantime, pursue the thing that you really like. Spend some time every day on getting there. You don’t need to spend a lot of time in a day. Just little by little but constantly every day. Before you know it, you’ll be ready to have a new life or job. Doing things that you actually like. If you’re tired, get some rests. But don’t give up until you achieve your goal.
This happens a lot. There are two options. One is to find something outside of work that brings you fulfillment and happiness. The other is to find a new job or career. While you continue to work your current job begin looking and researching for something you would enjoy. Only a lucky few find their life’s passion early in life. For some, we have to keep trying new things until we find it. Then there are those who stop looking, they give up and settle with what they got. There is no right or wrong answer. You just have to do what works best for you.