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Help?

by ojx402
written by ojx402

Sometimes I wonder if my suicidal thoughts have a reason behind them. I mean, I know I want to die because my life is not something I appreciate, but does it have a medical reason? Could I even have depression? Could I get help?

I don’t know why I never thought of that before. I don’t want psychological help, but could it be a possibility? My family never worried about this kind of problems because I never let people know about my emotions, I’m good at hiding.

I’m really curious about this, but at the same time I don’t care. If I actually have some kind of illness […]

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You speak in every curling wave and sing in every violent breeze

by ojx402
written by ojx402

I told my father how I felt, everything that I felt and he got mad at me, he called me names, he yelled, and then he left. A few moments later he came back to tell me that I was a waste of space, and I told him that I didn’t care what he said because I was going to kill myself that day anyway.
After I yelled that while everyone else in my family was listening, I ran. I ran because I knew my mother, my sister and my brother would try to stop me from doing that. I hid, but was found moments […]

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Friendship

by ojx402
written by ojx402

I don’t really know how I feel.

I haven’t talked to my friends in a month or so, at first it was because I was kind of lazy and didn’t feel like talking, but as days passed I realized how little my “friends” care. I mean, did I really mean nothing to them? All the communication I had was with one of them because she replied to something I tweeted. I know they check my twitter all the time, so they know I have been feeling like shit and they don’t fucking care!  I just don’t know if I’m angry, or upset, I don’t know. I […]

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My Story

by ojx402
written by ojx402

I guess it all started when I was a little kid. My parents fighting all the time and me being present when they did, it made me feel kind of sad, why did they fight? Was it because of me? And the answer was yes, or at least to me it was and it still is. I don’t blame them though, because that’s how they dealt with their problem (me) and now I deal mine with self-harm.

First time I cut was when I as about 11 years old and I did it because my dad had been yelling at me for a lot of things. […]

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