He’s gone, and will never come back. That, I’m sure of. I almost don’t care anymore, regardless of the 21 years we spent together. It’s still such a shock – such an emptiness. The fact that he’s blaming me for everything, that he believes I’m far more ill than I am, is disconcerting. It makes me doubt myself, all the time.
I’m cold. I’m almost always cold. I sleep alone. I get up alone, I live in near silence, and fear. Where will I go, how will I get there, what will I do?
I gave up […]
I can’t believe I’m still here. The first time, I was stupid. I took the right stuff, and I should have died, but I wanted to hear his voice one last time, so I called him, and he called the police. Stupid me.
The second time – I meant it. I took so much stuff – 90 days of clonidine .2, 30 days of inderol, 30 days of ativan, about 45 days of atenolol, and an entire extra-sized bottle of benadryl. I woke the next morning on my own. Not that I got off without damage – I kept […]
I got married nearly 21 years ago to a man I thought would never do this to me. Â But now, he’s cheated on me, for a year, with someone he picked up online for casual sex. Â He says he’s never loved me, or he only loved me for two years, or he loves me but not like a wife. He tells me he’s been miserable for five years, no ten years, no fifteen years, no eighteen years. Â We “celebrated” our 20th anniversary, and he said he “even enjoyed some of the experiences” but this was before I knew about her.
I was sexually abused as […]
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