The only thing really stopping me from ending my life is my father and the potential pain and sorrow he will feel. I’m trying to understand how a child’s death could be seen as such a tragedy in the eyes of parents. Yes, of course, the emotional aspesct of it; “Oh, my son/daughter is gone, ohh after all that time, ohh I’ll never see them again!” Hysterics aside, what do they lose? A child takes without saying thank you, the feel entitled to everything, they grow and leave, tossing the parents aside like nothing. This, to me, doesn’t seem right at all. How can something that has […]
I’ve been using the thought of suicide as a means to get through the day, to justify why I live the way I do. It’s made everything easier knowing I wouldn’t have to worry people or be worried much longer. But now the thought isn’t doing it anymore, it isn’t making me happy the way it used to. Neither the thought of dying nor living alleviates any guilt or regret. Nothing gives me any happiness or sadness much anymore, where as the ideation gave me hope.
Both my parents are loving and hardworking people with only wanting the best for me. They’ve invested everything they’ve had into making me a good son. I’ve turned out to be a failure. They don’t deserve to waste anymore money and grief. Since birth, I’ve had all my needs tended to wthout any effort on my part. I’ve been a slob my whole life. I’ve never had friends. I’ve spent my entire life in my bedroom, living a life of excess and luxury. I’m weak-willed. I deserve to go to Hell, if that’s where I end up going. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want […]