The crazy fact is that I still cling on to life with the lowest amount of optimism I have left which is why I desire someone would murder me to make the process significantly easier.
In the past, I would have suicidal thoughts but they were manageable through the gym, talking to a mentor/girlfriend and minor successes in life. Now those coping mechanisms don’t even work, they just numb my thoughts for a short period of time and then reverts to a way which I would describe “A squirrel anxiously on cocain divining the bleak future”. The truth is I don’t want to die but neither […]