After a lifelong battle with painful health problems, depression and some recovery from tramatic experiences, I’ve taken turn for the worse. I am living a lie as (by general standards) a successful, professional (and potential role model to a few) who hides this dark side from the world. Suicide was always a fantasy escape option, a stress relief valve in knowing there is a way out of the pain. Now it has become an inescapable obsession, I’m seriously planning and have the ability to kill myself. The problem is that I don’t really want to die, but in my extreme, depressive state of mind (not my true, […]