It would be such a relief if I just died right now. It’s all I am craving. I had a dream in which I was lying in a coffin and everyone came to my funeral. I felt so peaceful because all the pain was gone. I wish I really died in that sweet dream.
I have made arrangements and am going to kill myself on May 27…just need to wait 10 more days, I would get my peace. I feel like I really don’t have much to say to my family, so I will just leave a note saying “I am sorry. It’s not your fault.”