I have made arrangements and am going to kill myself on May 27…just need to wait 10 more days, I would get my peace. I feel like I really don’t have much to say to my family, so I will just leave a note saying “I am sorry. It’s not your fault.”
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I like that. I plan to do it too but i’m worried people around me will blame themselfs.
same. iv attempted 4 times.
Please don’t do it. Your family can help you get better and enjoy life.
I hope it’s not going to be an attempt. If there was no interruption, I would get what I want. Though, I have a backup plan.
@will692: It’s too late. I’m already past the getting help stage. Besides, I’m actually doing a big favor for my family. After I died, they would enjoy their lives.
It’s not too late to get help; you can still be helped. Your family would not be better off without you; they love you and want to see you succeed in life. You can succeed in life.
You even don’t know about my family. They hate me. I hate myself more. I deserve to die. And I’m sure that they would feel happier without me sticking around.
where you from sadness ?
@sadness – I understand how you feel, and since you mentioned you’re past the getting help stage I assume that whatever I type here to convince you not to do it will probably just be ignored. But I do care about you, whoever you are… I think our same situation give us a common ground, I would like to encourage you to try and seek more options to attain a better life. Or better yet, postpone that day…. try to catch the next movie on theaters or keep anticipating events you might enjoy in your area, make friends. I do thoes things, if I haven’t I could’ve been dead when I was in college. I am an incredibly sad person too, I don’t deny going here to vent reduces an incredible amount of stress, because people here can relate. May I ask how you plan to kill yourself?
@X-Boy: I’m from Los Angeles. And you?
@Moe: More options? Like what? Haven’t I ever tried to attain a better life? There is no use trying because I’m a failure. No matter how hard I would try, I would just fail, fail, fail, fail, over and over and over again. It’s not normal sadness or stress. I have suffered from bipolar disorder and PTSD. After years of treatment, I’m getting nowhere and have come to realize that I would be trapped in this purgatory as soon as I lived. My family even doesn’t really care about me. If I died, they would live a happier life and I would rest in peace. It would be a win-win.
I’m going to hang myself. There is no way for me postpone it. Firstly, I don’t think there is a point in doing that. Secondly, I would miss a good chance to do it. I don’t want to wait any longer.
But isn’t that painful way to die? Have you ever thought of carbon monoxide?
I would ensure that my neck would snap. And then I would die instantly without consciousness. No, I wouldn’t use that method. Firstly, I’m too young and don’t have my own car yet. My parents would use their cars on that day. Secondly, it would be a relatively slow death with a good chance of failing it.
Actually my first option is a gunshot right through my heart. It’s a fast and almost painless way to die. The thing is, I haven’t reached a legal age to own a gun licence and buy a gun.
Do you prefer carbon monoxide to other methods?
Yes, because I don’t wanna feel another fucking source of pain. CO binds with your red blood cells so you hypoxiate in your circulatory system, CO is odorless so you won’t have any choking/suffocating experiences. You just feel extremely tired until you fall asleep. It’s common in Japan, Taiwan and Hongkong. I’m not encouraging you to die, it’s your call.
Actually I won’t be in a car…. just the 15×20 feet storage room, all things are there already I just need the perfect combination of events, so I’m trying complete my to-do list. I am 22 y/o male and I feel like what I felt when I was 13, not that I am referencing to you being young… but durring highschool I wrote in our school freedom board “Death at 23″…. fastforward….. I finished highschool, got my degree in B.S. nursing, worked in a hospital. I thought things will change but I’m still shit.
Do you mind me asking how old are you?
I just turned 17. Where are you from?
Do you still work in a hospital? I wish I had access to those fatal drugs.
You want to die like I do. Why did you try to talk me out of suicide, then? Don’t you think it’s weird?
From Philippines… I just quit, I had access with different drugs epineprine, pottasium fluoride, atropine sulfate.. for instance thoes drugs can really wreck your heart in fatal dosage but LOL dying from heart attack is not really the easiest way to go. I managed to steal a vial of lidocaine it’s an anesthesia it also removes your blood’s ability to clot. But I don’t really like the idea of bleeding to death.
You know my friend was barely 18 when he died last month, April 2011 from a car accident, his ribs punctured his vital organs and I terribly miss him. I tried to talk you out of suicide because I am hoping in someway to save you. I know it’s wierd makes me a hypocrit to tell you life is good… but for some people it is, for me it’s not.
I’m interested in heart attack. Are there any OTC drugs inducing a heart attack that I can get from a drugstore/pharmacy?
Sorry to hear that. I wish I could trade places with him.
Medications like thoes need prescriptions, there might be OTC drugs out there that can damage your heart but they are very mild, taking large amount of thoes will box your liver sooner than your heart. Liver failure is the worst thing because no dialysis machine can guarantee your survival, that is why I’m afaraid of dying via OD of meds because there’s so much pain involve.
@Moe – your method of choice to die sounds good
@sadness – it’s commendable at how you’re determined to just get on with it. Aren’t you the least bit afraid? Just asking
Even me I’m soo afraid, suicide is my last option, but right now I’m filling my time here on earth with a little bit of this and that; bonding with few friends, sister and mum, books, music, movies.
I’m afraid too. I think about doing it then I back out at the last minute. Right now I’m just hoping things would get better for me. Or maybe hoping is just another way of giving up. Maybe hope is a word that holds no true meaning. Am I wrong?
@Umbra – “hoping is just another way of giving up” It depends on how you define it, but the “word” hope is usually associated with positivity and not giving up.
@Umbra – “hoping is just another way of giving up” It depends on how you define it, but the word “hope” is usually associated with positivity and not giving up.
-_- Ah, so you do disagree, Mr. Moe.
I’m trying to be objective looking at things where reasons are weighed in one side and the other… for instance a person hoping to live has more reasons to live for, and a person hoping to die has more reasons to avoid living. But still, the word hope is like “looking forward” not the other way around. I might agree with you but I really don’t know what you’re situation is.
Just a 🙂 for you Moe. May I continue to keep smiling for however long I live. Even if it’s fake, it’ll eventually be real.
A smile always trigger happy feelings even if it’s involuntary.i.. i love the way so say it!
Huh? Say what? Not sure I understood that last part
Because I think you are implying progress in your part, moving on, trying to be happy…. even if it’s difficult, that’s good? yes?
Well I think “sadness” will be annoyed to see his post filled with our conversation don’t you think?
It is good. And yes Sadness probably might get annoyed about that. So I’m just gonna log out now. Perhaps we could talk again someday? Bye Mr.Moe. 😀 See? Bigger smile. Later.
don’t worry Umbra_Artist I’m not hitting on you I’m gay… just forget the “.i.. i” part I just type really fast with lots of dots.
Haha! 😀 No I never thought that! Okay bye now 4real.
btw it’s cool that you’re gay 😉
That wink doesn’t mean I’m hitting on you
Later
@Umbra_Artist: I’m not afraid at all. Death is all I want. Why would I feel scared of being set free and getting my peace?
@Moe: I’m not a guy. I’m a girl. Well, forget about overdosing. I will just stick to my plan.
what are you doing up?
@Sadness – hey how are you dear? I hope you are a little better now…
@Moe: I’m feeling extremely calm and relaxed…just waiting for my time coming. It will be over pretty soon.
i don’t know,, you sound pretty certain about ending it; so i feel it to be more important to talk.. and cause yeah..
you said you’re from LA? we’re neighbors; im in OC
yup. what’s happening?
Sadness I don’t know the right words to say, but a lot of us are going thru in different versions of suffering and pain. I just want you to know that you are not alone and if there is anything I can do I wish I can be there with you to help you out. I hope you change your mind dear and try to linger a bit on this planet with us for a while until you find your bliss.
@X-Boy: I’m dead serious about this. It’s no use talking about my problems because they won’t disappear or be solved. Death is the only way out. We all will die in the end. I don’t want to suffer and wait that long.
@Moe: I know I am not alone. And there are people whose lives are 10 times worse than mine, but they still struggle to survive. But, people are different. They might have something to live for while I have none and don’t want to. It’s all about our own choices-live or die. If I chose to live now, I would suffer all my life before I died. What’s the point of living like this? I won’t change my mind.
My parents will be away on the 27th, so I must wait. I will be left alone in an empty house and then I can hang myself without interruption. If I didn’t need to wait, I would have done it already.
hey, what are you doing sness?
@Sadness – Alright sadness, I understand…. if I can give you one last hug, take care my friend.