After seven months- I relapsed on alcohol. My professors have told me that I’m not committed and won’t get a job despite my A’s and being on the Dean’s list. I cried all day yesterday, I can’t take it. So much pressure, I had stopped thinking of suicide when I entered a university because I felt like finally I found something that makes me happy. Finally I’m doing something to take away the thoughts. And now I’ve been fucking terrible at every little thing and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore and I […]
I can’t shake this feeling. I can’t stop crying and the tantrums keep getting worse. I recently started seeing a doctor, and all I do is cry but I feel relieved talking about my pathetic life to someone who can help me. Now I face something that frightens me, I’m only allowed 8 free sessions because I don’t have insurance. I feel like everyone leaves me, I’m afraid I’ll get comfortable only to lose my doctor. Everyone walks out of my life, I can’t stand people and yet I hate being alone. I don’t know what I want out of life, and I want to […]