How can I do anything when my only known thought process is to allow myself to get bullied and stomped over. I truley believe I’m not worth a damned thing, at all. I know I’m not, I’m a horrible person. I haven’t gotten a true friend in the world. I ‘keep busy’, as I hang out with all these people that if they knew the ‘real me’, they would have left a long time ago. How do I live when I’m constantly pushing myself lower. I want so much more than I deserve. I want a friend, a life, I want a hope in this […]
I have this friend, he’s awesome. And sometimes I actually let him in, emotionally. I don’t do that to anybody. I hide my feelings fairly well unless instigated. He’s getting fed up with my lack of concern towards myself. I wish I could just be like, “I’m really just venting, let me freak out. It’s fine, I’m not going to cut up.”. But alas here I am, getting all guilted up because I can’t change who I am. I’m completely worthless. Don’t try to tell me I’m not, I know the truth. I can’t literally remember a moment that didn’t end in guilt or shame. […]