silentshepherd

“Death is the cessation of life; life is defined according to what you make it.”

Yeah, thanks for the fucking enlightenment.

Suicidal thoughts are the current thunderheads projecting into my everyday life, coupled with the non-stop social anxiety afflictions. Last weekend wasn’t necessarily a success in terms of an attempt (no access to Xanax and alcohol + exit bag) and hanging myself has rather substantial complications as well. I’m now seeking recourse to a different method that could ideally be lethal without myself exerting too much effort in the actual act of terminating myself.

Excessive effort raises excessive anxiety, which […]

Date of attempt: Friday, October 7, 2016

It’s not a matter of if life will knock you on your ass. It’s when.

“Life does hit you but the only thing that matters is having the strength to get up”.

Right, said by no one ever. . . .

I’ve been dabbling in risky behaviors since I was 16. It began with alcohol and weed, then I graduated to prescription pills from my mom and my diploma I received was overdosing and going on suicide watch. It’s now escalated to drinking whenever I feel lonely, (very often) and doing hardcore drugs. Ironically, the drugs have kept […]

“Where it’s lonely at the top, because nobody else can hear you yell…..”

Tuesday. Drag yourself out of your warm comforting blankets and into the eye of the storm. Eat breakfast, alone in the corner without bothering anyone with your disheveled appearance. That girl you have a crush on, don’t you even look in her direction.

Get to class. Don’t open your mouth unless someone speaks directly to you. Even then, you aren’t worth anyone’s time. If you mattered to anyone, they’d talk to you. You are so worthless. School is such a waste of time, and we both know you won’t amount […]