https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slmb4ZZ5pkY
Happiness will never be for me, not for a sick girl.
Everything is gone.
I’ve known that for a long while.
Unfortunately, death is less beautiful. There is no beauty in death for me.
Me: a once vibrant, beautiful girl, has rotted away, literally.
I don’t want to be ill, but I am. There is no going backwards. Things have gotten much worse. I am deteriorating rapidly again. There is no ease. I cannot accept.
I have suffered a lot in the last two years.
I don’t want to die. I want to be alive, happy and well. I am not well, however.
Even as empty as I feel, I just don’t feel good about myself to be around others anymore. I need to die, […]
If only I was well, I can leave it all behind.
I am not, I’ve been robbed of my life.
My project gives me anxiety, it overwhelms me. Talked to more people, getting more people involved. They don’t know I am suicidal and very depressed. They don’t know that I need to give up. They don’t know that I will fall apart any moment. The truth is, I don’t think I will make it to finish what I started.
I don’t want to die, but I can’t live a life without a future. It pains me so very much that I have to give up […]
So off track, I don’t know how to get back.
I know what is awaiting me.
I’ve done it all before – an impossible task.
I am so alone, yet I have no motivation to open up.
The journey has to end – I can’t live this way.
There are some things I just cannot accept.
I had a whole year to self destruct, and that, I did.
It really is the only way I know how to cope- I don’t have anything else.
I’ve done so much damage to myself.
I walk in silence, barely resembling the person I once was: full of spirit.
I wake every morning needing to die again.
I sometimes have nightmares.
I shouldn’t fight […]