I’m cutting myself. I’m doing it right now.
And i have realised. I am too damaged to ever be loved.
I hope i fucking die.
I feel so out of sorts today.
Usually my boyfriend drops anything he is doing to discuss things with me. He knows that if i don’t talk to someone and get everything off my chest then i will hurt myself out of frustration and rage. But lately he doesn’t want to listen.
I know i sound really clingy and selfish but it’s getting to the point where i just need to talk to him about ANYTHING and he goes offline or just ignores me.
He’s staying at a friends house and has been there for a couple of weeks due to problems at home. He’s unemployed and i […]
Okay so i hate when people write selfish things about themselves on Facebook like “I’m so fat” just so people will reply to them.
But i’m not trying to fish for compliments. And i don’t know how to turn off the comments so just don’t think i’m doing that!
Anyway was looking at photos today (which i regret doing now) and i just feel SOOO unattractive, I have never weighed this much in my life. It’s not like i’m obese but i feel like i could be better looking.
I need to try harder. Â I understand that i am always going to be unhappy with how i […]
I used to be able to bottle up all my emotions and then later when i cut myself it wouldn’t matter what mood i was in as it would still feel good.
Although i just cut myself and i felt nothing. I still enjoyed seeing the blood, picking where i should scar myself and then bandaging it after but i didn’t get the rush i used to get.
This scares me, if i can’t cut myself. I have nothing left.
Am i so empty that i can’t even feel my self inflicted pain anymore?
What the fuck do i do now?!
Ugh!
I can’t voice my opinion anywhere else but here. So sorry if this is boring but i need to rant!
I think hunting animals to EAT is fine. But when you go out shooting with your dumb arse friends with an overpowered shot gun to shoot rabbits then you’re just being a fucking loser with a dangerous weapon.
When asked if you were going to use the animals that had been shot and telling me that only one was okay to eat and ‘the other two were too messy’ really fucking pisses me off!
I would kill something to eat later. But i would never kill an […]
Does anyone know any good coping mechanisms that could help me when i get filled with anger?
I usually cut myself to calm myself down. Any suggestions are fine.
Thanks guys.
Has anyone seen this?
I have just watched it and would like to discuss what others think.
🙂
We’re growing apart.
I feel trapped.
I hate talking about it but i know i should.
Can’t wait to cut, it was the only thing that got me through today.
I wish i could live inside my dreams, inside my head.
Then i would be happy.
Fuck this life.
Want to see my blood, because i don’t feel the pain. Alcohol.
Want to have fun.
When will i feel any better?
I want to die.
I’m sick of this feeling.
I have just watched one of my favorite shows that has just come back on after almost half a year.
I love this show so much that all week i look forward to it.
But after it is finished i always feel so upset and sad. Like after the peak of ecstasy i feel this horrible indifference coming down.
All i want to do is cut. It’s like i can’t wait for it!
Such a weird feeling.
Fuck.
So my brother thought he would sit me down and have a long chat with me about all the mistakes i am making in my life because i obviously don’t see it.
Usually when he starts his criticism rant i just walk off and that’s the end. Except this time all i could do was sit there. I have a broken leg and my crutches were strategically placed away from me. Also how can i walk away on crutches… very slowly and he’d just follow anyway. Plus i was living in HIS house at the time so it’s not like i could go anywhere.
Although i am […]
I was in such a good place today. I was laughing with others and getting really involved with life.
Then, i realised i will always be different. Which i completely accept.
I made a joke today, everyone laughed and they kept talking about it for ages. It made me feel so happy. I was so happy that the first thing i said to myself after things died down was “Can’t wait to cut myself tonight”. I smiled and thought. ‘Wow, i’ve come to the point where i associate all happiness with self mutilation, and more surprisingly i accept that’
A very weird day of realisation. Â But more importantly not […]
There are people that are impossible to live with. I am one of them.
I accept that. I hate myself, i wouldn’t want to live with me either.
But you would think after living with my family for almost 20 years they would have picked up on my traits and understood how to deal with them. I think everyone does.
I know that if my mum is really upset about something and shes sitting outside having a smoke to just leave her alone. Then when she comes back inside to say nothing. Don’t ignore her, but be there for her in silence. Then when she seems […]
Just had another fight with him today. That’s all we do these days.
I always take the passive side and don’t say what i really want to because i know he’ll just hang up, walk away or not talk to me.
Such a child.
All i want to do is learn how to stand my ground and make him listen but in our fights it always becomes a ***** sesh about what i have done wrong. Although i guess that’s everyone’s opinion when they are in a fight.
I moved out of my brothers today, my little niece finally isn’t around so i can cut again.
How do i give someone i love a huge wake up call without them getting hurt or angry at me?
I hate asking for advice but i need to tell someone what they are currently doing is not how to live a happy life and that although i love them very much i really need them to move into the next phase of their journey and leave behind all these current issues. Because i fear that if they don’t take responsibility and move on soon then i may have to leave/lose them.
And i don’t want to lose/leave them.
But how do i tell them this […]
I’ve changed. A year ago i felt like i was missing out on a true friend that stuck by me, someone i could talk to about anything.
Now that i have that i have completely changed. I used to be reserved, never spoke what i thought. Never talked about myself and kept a distance from everyone. I liked it that way.
But now i open up to people, tell them my worries and about my past. I don’t like this. But i find i can’t stop.
I know that these people will turn on me and i will be alone again soon. Although i am looking forward […]
I struggled with the confusing feeling of liking someone that was very close to me for a long time.
I realised my attraction too late, ignored the signs and now we have both moved on.
She is and will always be the one that got away.
It wasn’t until recently that I reaslied I liked her in that way.
I recognised that the way I treated her was special, I felt like I wanted to hold her all the time and kiss her. But that still didn’t really help me understand what I truly thought of her in that moment.
I have kissed other girls […]
I have no control over my life. I have to rely on so many others just to get one task done. I hate myself for letting if get to this stage. I am very independent and hate having to ask others for help. Fuck this. So angry right now.
I woke up with an overwhelming sense of indifference. It seems i cannot stop being unhappy.
I have broken my ankle and moved in with my brother (since my house i currently reside in has stairs). For a while i was very happy. For a while i was so happy it hurt. However depression and indifference always seems to find me.
I hate that my life seems so bi-polar. Up and down, up and down.
If anyone reads this and has a way of making me happy please comment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL4YceTBxz8&feature=g-all-u&context=G23399f5FAAAAAAAAMAA
“Babe, you’re so complicated
The way you’re putting me down
And when we go out with your friends
You act like you don’t want me around
And I get so frustrated
Of everything ended in a fight
Why bring out the candle
When you don’t even care to see the light
And every time you make me cry
Every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we started to fight
We never seem to get it right
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little […]
Feeling really lonely.
If anyone would like to chat please email me.
Or if anyone needs anyone to talk to, don’t hesitate!
im_a_goofy_gooba_yeah@hotmail.com
(hate my email but i’ve had it for like 12 years and can’t be bothered changing it, deal)