You know. I don’t know how you would act if I told you I was depressed. You would probably give me a useless pep talk then get mad when I don’t change like she does. I’ve already talked to them all. But I won’t talk to you. I can’t. You left. I remember when you told me that you were going. You were smiling and I was begging but you still left. I cried at school. People made fun of me behind my back. You made me lose my confidence and trust with people. I slowly realized that you would not be coming back. But […]
Anger. I feel I feel. My brother makes me feel. I hate it. I want to shred my skin off. It doesn’t help its only temporary, you have to keep on cutting. Over and over until the anger, pain, and sadness goes away and you become your shell again. Go go keep on cutting shredding tearing. Until you are nothing.Until you feel nothing. Focus on the pain. Focus. The pain the pain…and nothing exists once again. Scream so loud the ears bleed. Scream and scream until nothing remains. Nothing is left but the empty shell. Nothing
All your empty smiles
All your broken dreams
All your willful desires
Are floating down the stream
You say I can make it
You say that I’m strong
But all these scars only prove
That you are very wrong
Because I know what is true
I’m bound to die a lonely girl
Always feeling blue
I just keep on walking
One step then another
Hoping I am going
In the right direction
But all the signs say opposite
Where am I
I wonder
I’m stuck in the awful place
That is called my home
Where all my demons try to suck my soul
So please don’t try to tell me
That I’ll be alright
Because I know what is true
I’m bound to die a lonely girl
Always feeling blue
There […]
This is what I imagine in my head. Every single day. This is why I can’t smile. Is it wrong that sometimes this is the only thing that makes me happy? That one day humanity will cease. What is wrong with me?
I hate how awful my brother makes me feel. I hate how I have to smile for my mom. I hate how my brother is like my mom and gets easily mad. I hate how I do the same to my little brother and have to try to stop myself. I hate how I do the same things all day. I hate when it’s my mom’s off days because she is always watching to make sure I act happy. I hate how my mom hates the real me. I hate how she loves this mask, this facade. I hate how even on here I’m just […]