For the past two weeks almost every single night I have been standing at the very top of five flights of stairs, contemplating possibilities. Imagining my body falling. Would I face up or should I choose to face the ground? I am still afraid. That is why when I find myself there, hands gripping the railing, it takes me about an hour to move. And somehow through strength or fear, I am still here.
Last night, as I started my walk up these five flights of stairs my boyfriend called me. Instead of finishing the climb I hopped in my car and drove to his house. […]