No matter what I do, Of course I’m back here again. I cannot see my therapist anymore because he’s become more of this conspiracy theorist who seems to try to convince me more and more every time that I can just think or just make whatever I want just happen just because I want it to, but then the more that he invalidates as to why I am so negative and pessimistic all the time, when everything’s just going like hell lately, he just keeps trying to convince me that he’s not invalidating me and that all he’s trying to do, is try to prove […]
I’ve hesitated just about writing this, because I feared being told off— but it has to be said— I’m really sorry that I’m so stupid when I write things. I know I can come off a bit harsh sometimes with the way I speak my mind, but I didn’t mean to be so rude. I’m just going through a lot of endless pain, suffering from several treatment resistant mental and medical illnesses, and many things no one else understands. I carry these burdens alone, as I’m the only person in my life who I know who has these problems. I’m only here to speak […]
So, I don’t even wanna hear another single person dare make the mistake of telling me to stop thinking about my trauma, when they have no fucking idea that I’ll be carrying this shit to my brain. I’m the only one in this whole stupid family who suffers from real trauma and any other mental illness, that I’ll be taking to my grave. Even though there’s times when I’m extremely stressed about trauma and other times when my trauma still affects me but not as bad, either way this traumatic shit is always there somewhere inside of me, and most willing to Provoke me anytime […]
I suffer cognitive dissonance and pure O, so my decisions are hardly ever up to me and my body and mind don’t even belong to me anymore, so if I lose my cool at my house one more time, it’s gonna be out of my control and I’m gonna go homeless because of it. I feel like I’m fucking cursed, and shit never goes my way, and if anything is ever to go wrong, it’s gonna go wrong towards me and not anyone else. It’s also to the point where I don’t wanna do anything at all anymore and I’d just rather lie in bed […]
I feel like nobody and I’m done with therapy because my idiot therapist can’t help me and he just tried to guilt trip me on how he thought it was wrong that I tried to KMS in the past and he tries to tell me with stigmatizing language that I’m wrong for trying to escape the pain in the past, but yet tries to justify everyone else for pushing me to that point and making me feel this way just because they’re in authority! I feel like I’m a fucking slave to this pain and I’m obligated to stay in this earth with this mental […]