I’ve given a lot of thought to minimize the trauma. Part of that is the timing and method. I think late July through mid August is the best time as it will not crap on anyone’s birthday or holiday (other than my own).
I know that when it comes down to the final hours, it will be a bit scary. It could take me hours to die. Yes, I’ll be some place where I will not likely to be interrupted , but I’ve decided on a multi-tiered approach. If I can’t keep my cocktail down, I’ll use to wipe […]
http://www.ranker.com/list/last-words-written-by-famous-people-in-their-suicide-notes/notable-quotables
I’ve upped my LD-50, and I’ve checked it in different phases. The powder dissolves in hot water, but it turns to paste when cool. It’s properties are such that its solubility is much less in cool water.
I just don’t know that I’d be able to swallow it all and keep it down, but its probably do-able with a milkshake. The back up is the tablet form.
I won’t do it at home. I don’t want to distress any sale. There shouldn’t be any gore, as with a gun. I want to minimize traumatizing anyone, so I’d rather not […]
“Your benefits are very important to us
So please stay on the line …
so we may better calculate how to
Extract them…
Since seeking “help” from a shrink,
I’ve been deferred to specialists,
I’ve done a lot of tests. Labs have analyzed nearly everything
I seccreet. I’ve been scanned too.
It’s been three months,, but no relief.
My calendar drags on with follow-ups
As the parasites feed
Seek help, the suicide prevention folks plead
Offering false hope, even though they are deceived to believe.
If you don’t first succeed, it will be worse: a costly admittance ride by corrupt hospitals maximizing occupancy, and egos preening for importance, professing cures for conditions they haven’t experienced, based on the propaganda fed them by pharmaceutical companies.
There is no help.
There just isn’t. Their track record is abysmal, but they’ll shock and chemically castrate you if it means them being “right”.
I practice. It makes it less unsettling.
Keeping it down may be the hardest part (hence the importance of a back up dose). I resent not being able to die comfortably in my own home.
I know it’s crazy, but the planning keeps me going.
While I may have spontaneous impulses to end it, there are matters that only I can tie up. Considering the potential grief I might cause by my passing of “natural causes”, it seems as though I should at least leave things as up to date and sellable as possible.
While considerate timing has been important in the past, in reality, no time is a good time, but it probably would be best if I could make it through the holidays, but I’m not married to it. Late spring would be best, … but why in […]
I’m feeling really defective right now.
I went to a special “designer” research hospital in New York last month. Today, the super bill came with the diagnosis codes. I haven’t received their final report yet, but one of the diagnoses has sort of kicked me in the gut and I don’t feel like I can talk with any family member about it lest they throw it in my face.
It has to do with cognitive impairment which can arise from head trauma or prolonged medical treatments. Full recovery is rare. I guess you’d have to see what I have trouble with now, compared […]
Bidding will begin next year. It should be done in 2018, and they estimate it will cost $76 million.
Based on the new span of the SF-Oakland Bay Bridge, a portion of which collapsed after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, I’m betting it will be completed between 2020 and 2025 (depending upon how many times they have to go back for more money when it goes w-a-y over budget).
(Originally, retrofitting the Bay Bridge was estimated at $230M, but then they said it would cost that much to replace it. Of course, a vanilla looking bridge wouldn’t due, so they settled on a […]
Just thought I’d poll thoughts about this.
No note could create legal problems for others (i.e., wondering whether someone had a poisoning motive). The absence of a note may leave others wondering, which may be good or bad.
Leaving a note may be a means of providing reassurance or useful instructions. (I’m not talking about the kind of note designed to blame and hurt others.)
Thoughts?
I’m just curious why my comments are labeled “awaiting moderation”.
I don’t think I’ve been particularly hostile.
i put a lot of time and thought into some posts, and if they’re never going to be read (because they’re sidelined in the waiting queue), i won’t reply.
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
It’s odd, but in reading about the middle-aged men topping the suicide statistics in the US and UK, I have fewer reservations. In reading about suicide prevention and the loss loved ones experienced, i’m not deterred, although the formula that suicide seems viable when emotional pain exceeds coping mechanisms makes sense, it doesn’t seem to fully cover it.
I know there are times when we’re overwhelmed, but today I feel clearer in my head than most (last night’s old Ambien?), and it just seems like a viable course to pursue. I may be kidding myself, but it seems like logistics are the bigger issue.
For […]
I originally joined this site last fall during a very dark spell. I found myself wanting to encourage others, particularly younger folks, who I feared were discouraged and without hope. Then I lost my “remembered” login password, and when I had it, I couldn’t login because the site was unavailable.
But, here I am again. I know this site can be a good place to vent or bare ones soul, and I hope it is frequently used for that, rather than a last plea for help, because … it’s the f—— Internet, and we can’t give one another a hug, or look into […]
I don’t know where I’d be without my deformed maniac shelter puppy. (Why, and perhaps how, would anyone breed a dachshund with a pit bull?). Somehow, I just couldn’t say no to his white vest and two white toes on each foot. He’s the most bro dog I’ve ever had.
And cat people, please don’t confuse cats with the greatness of dogs; dogs are clearly higher in the Lamarkian chain of beings. ;^)
I used to have a big sloppy Saint Bernard. One day while walking back home, Bobo stopped at a teenage girl sitting on a curb in front of the bus […]
Hello. Â I’m new here, but I’ve been reading posts for days. Â I can empathize, truly, but try to hear me.
I can relate. As an emerging teen, I had deep times of depression. I tried to kill myself when I was 21, and came very close again when I was 30. As time went on, I just would be dismissive. “It’s just depression” I’d tell myself, “it will pass”, and I was right.
Several years ago, I found myself at an unlikely place, someone’s home where a church group met. (This is not a God endorsement.) The leader shared […]
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