I’m feeling really defective right now.
I went to a special “designer” research hospital in New York last month. Today, the super bill came with the diagnosis codes. I haven’t received their final report yet, but one of the diagnoses has sort of kicked me in the gut and I don’t feel like I can talk with any family member about it lest they throw it in my face.
It has to do with cognitive impairment which can arise from head trauma or prolonged medical treatments. Full recovery is rare. I guess you’d have to see what I have trouble with now, compared to a year ago to understand.
Anyway, rare doesn’t mean impossible, and what in the hell do they know anyway.
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I have a problem with a lot of doctors in all honesty. It seems like they’ll slap a diagnosis on anyone if it’ll make them more money. I too had a super bill when I got out of my hospital, and with it all sorts of diagnosis. BPD, anorexia, and MDD. MDD I agree with, but I’m not anorexic, or, at least I wasn’t until I was “treated” for it, where they told me its OK to be 20lbs overweight, even if its affecting my health I should still eat. That didn’t help very much. But yea, doctors are some of the smartest idiots you’ll ever meet. They’ll label a kid that likes to explore and have fun as ADHD or a kid that doesn’t wanna eat disgusting eggs for breakfast anorexic (little personal on that last one)
mhmm, and the scarier thing is that many times they misdiagnose which could become a problem as some doctors are trying to win support to force medication on patients. Take about some serious guaranteed money. I was also labeled with bipolar II, which I am not, never was, but when my doc overdosed my Prozac, then I went into manic stage. Now I’m always going to be labeled that way, even thought I express none of those symptoms now that I am off of Prozac. If anything, I am depressed at the state of the economy. Sigh.
Wow. Yeah. Part of me wants to sue for being given a boatload of toxic medications for something I didn’t have. It blows my brain they could be that sloppy and callous.
Yup, irreparable brain damage from that toxic slew. My psychiatrist literally flew out of the country, didn’t want any malpractice lawsuits…
and sorry if my other post seems a little harsh, I don’t mean it to be, it was just that I couldn’t relate to the things you were saying. I know we are all on here for a reason, I’m just extra down in the dumps and negative today :/
the best is when they defend themselves by saying “acute facility” five times over when you try and fight them on the over-medication.
I think there is a danger of speaking these thing into someone’s perception, especially when they are wobbly. Labels and limiting beliefs are dangerous in general, and it took me years to learn to minimize the judgments of other and to define myself, but this stuff follows you. Accurate or not, it’s in your insurance records where it can be used against you; or other doctors give it credibility because it came from another M.D.
Don’t even get me started on how much it cost to just stay at the hospital. I could’ve gone to a 5 star spa for a month and spent less money (probably would have done more for me too)
So… much… truth…
I remember looking at the bill like “thirty dollars a meal…well unless those beans were magic and that apple was from the garden of eden I’m gonna have to call bs on that.” Or the bed. Holy crap that was the most expensive bed I ever slept in. Probably the most uncomfortable to boot.
Just the one bill, not even including all the other fees, was 36,000 dollars. It was literally the worst time of my life. And yeah those beds were awful. I remember being like wtf and they were like “well it’s because we have nurses and doctors 24/7” that’s why it’s so expensive. >.> it’s like great, they are keeping me against my will to squeeze insurance money out of me, hooray… Seriously, I think the Bellagio is cheaper.
You express yourself extremely well for one with cognitive impairment. I would imagine that most great artists and geniuses would have the same diagnosis. If medications caused you harm, I am so sorry. This life on Earth can be harmful to a sane brain without the confusion of meds that try to help you cope with it and end up confusing you more.
Do you know a good massage therapist? Or acupuncturist? A bit of natural relaxation might feel good, even if it didn’t solve everything.
Thanks. I worked as a writer for years, so I can still do that in realtime, just don’t expect me to remember what you said 30 seconds ago. And if you slowly and interactively walk me through something, don’t be surprised if I flunk the review five minutes from now. I used to be very organized and now I’m coexisting with a tide of papers and clutter. There are just many things I can no longer easily do. I remember seeing a brochure in the doctor’s office about identifying signs your aging parent needs help. I was embarrassed at having the need several decades too soon.
At this point, my hope lies with a quantum healer.
Also td, you could file for medical malpractice, it’s just such a tedious process. Also you are in NY? Come party with meeeeee!
I was in and out of NYC in less than 48 hours. Thanks though.
I’ve thought about it. It will be interesting to see whether the report holds back to give professional courtesy to the mad scientists, but a lawsuit is also a way of stirring the pot so the s— doesn’t settle. I need to regain some health and move forward. I think a lawsuit would be counterproductive to moving on. It would provide an outlet for anger, and it might make them wake up to what they are potentially doing to harm others, but mostly I want to move on.
This wasn’t an inpatient situation, more of a second opinion program for other medical issues, but when it came to discussing depression, the typical questions arose. After outlining four methods, of which I have the means for two, I was told, “it just sounds like you have suicide fantasies.” I’ve talked with a therapist as well, but not with the same level of detail.
Dismissing this as depression doesn’t really cover it. Either that, or previous depression episodes were depression-lite. I don’t leave the house for days, not even to go in the yard. I’ve recently set some minimal hygiene goals, along with doing eight minutes of tai chi on YouTube, and I do try to focus on something to be grateful for because I have found soaking in this to be helpful, but nothing has been able to dislodge me from the pothole I’ve been in for six months.
It makes me wonder what help looks like. I don’t believe I’ll find it in an inpatient arrangement. My judgment is that they are factories where you need to suck it up in order to escape. I could talk about big ******, but it probably wouldn’t be constructive.
Other health issues aside, I am a burden in this state and think my family would be better off with the life insurance proceeds, particularly if my passing doesn’t scream suicide; but mostly, I am tired of the fight and how small my world has become.