I have turned to alcohol to numb my pain and my thoughts about committing suicide. I have nothing left to live for, this is the only way out, but I want to go to Heaven. I feel that my son had abandoned me and my husband, I would like to be reunited with my entire family, as long as we’re split up, I feel lonely and lost, then the thought of suicide frequently keeps entering my mind, I have enough pills to take my life, but I don’t want my husband to be alone.