I have no more fight left in me. The weight of leaving is heavier than the weight of staying. The struggle of being alive has taken its toll on me. I’ve lost. I surrender. I gave up the war. I can’t even recognize myself anymore. Just want to go “home”, nothing more, nothing less…
Such a harsh world we live in. I’ve given myself a one-year ultimatum. If nothing changes for the better then I guess, it would be the end for me. However I don’t think I can manage to make it by the end of 2022. It’s just the 2nd month & I feel like saying goodbye to this world. I want to go. I really want to. I want to go home. I’ve been here long enough.
“Tonight, I’m calling all astronauts, all the lonely people that the world forgot. If you hear my voice, come pick me up. Are you out there cause your all I’ve got”
The lyrics of this song describes how I feel. I feel that I’m not welcome in this world. I don’t understand why people need to be harsh. I’ve been visiting this site for years since 2013 especially everytime my mind betrays me but it is only now that I’ve decided to write my heart out.
I would like to connect with my fellow astronauts. Greetings, my fellow astronauts.