Author

thefailure

It’s Been Two Years…

by thefailure 10/7/2014

written by thefailure

I’m still alive. For now, anyway.

My wonderful adventures with DCFS are over-not only did we get the kids home, we blew the lid off some serious corruption in the courts, too. And my asshole in-laws will never, ever be allowed to foster another child. They’ll never see my kids again-we ended up going no contact with my husband’s entire family a little over a year ago, and our lives have gotten progressively better ever since. Amazing how things improve when you stop surrounding yourself with assholes.

I also cut off my relatives. All of them. I finally realized that they’ll never change, and I don’t have […]

10/7/2014 0 comment

by thefailure 8/3/2012

written by thefailure

So, I talked to a therapist today. Decided on the spot to just bawl out everything, lol. She signed a confidentiality agreement, so she can’t talk to ANYBODY without my prior approval, not even the state.

So, anyway, after I spew my guts to this woman, she sits there for a minute, dead silent, and then she goes, “You know what? You don’t need a therapist. You need a time machine and a shotgun.”

O-O

I think I love her, lmao!

She’s closing my case next week. Her only recommendations are to move as far away from my sister as possible, change my phone number, and call the lawyer […]

8/3/2012 4 comments

Another Crappy Day….

by thefailure 8/2/2012

written by thefailure

So, I’m sitting here waiting (it seems I do an awful lot of waiting these days) for a ride so that I can hopefully get to my so -called “parenting class”. Have you ever been to one of these classes? They’re a total waste of time, and just another way for the state to keep your kids longer. I mean, really, who the hell needs someone to tell them how to take out the trash every day or remind them that babies can’t be brats? Are we really not evolved enough yet to understand that children are generally unable to be mean until the age […]

8/2/2012 14 comments

Funny, But This Will Be Sooo Bad Later

by thefailure 8/1/2012

written by thefailure

I got kidnapped by a friend yesterday, and somehow ended up in Wal-Mart (of all places) watching in horror as my sister Toni tore into some poor kid for asking if she was my mom. She’s only five years older than me, but…yeah. “Awkward” does not begin to describe that mess yesterday.

So, anyway, she storms out, leaving me and Dee to apologize and pick up the pieces and try to make a graceful exit. Then we come back here, and I start getting phone calls from my husband’s family. Apparently, to “punish” me for having the gall to look too young, my sister had called […]

8/1/2012 7 comments

Just Another Goodbye Story

by thefailure 7/31/2012

written by thefailure

I was talking on here last night to exhausted, and mentioned that one of my neighbors had killed himself. I was the last person to see him alive. We all called him Bailey.

Bailey was a Vietnam vet, a “catch-up hippie” who never got to be part of the hippie movement but who embraced the ideals behind it with a passion once he got back from the war. I don’t know that much about his youth, but I do know who he became, and what he meant to all of us. Its kind of ironic, but Bailey was the hero of our little circle of friends, […]

7/31/2012 5 comments

Still Kicking Feebly

by thefailure 7/30/2012

written by thefailure

I don’t know why I’m even bothering, but what the hell. I’m still here. Still not in the pokey, either, though I suspect I’m running out of time.

I think I’m sticking around just to piss people off. I’m probably just chickenshit.

It dawned on me this morning that if I was someone else looking at my life and my situation, I’d be telling me to fight hell and high water. Even if I lose, I’d still get to take down a few assholes with me. My brother deserves to be in jail for rape. My narcissistic sister needs a serious dose of reality to shatter her […]

7/30/2012 2 comments

Still alive this morning

by thefailure 7/18/2012

written by thefailure

Today is my husband’s birthday. He’s stuck 40 miles away with no way to get home, trying to scrape together the rent. No one in his family has so much as offered him a ride. Nice bunch of people, really.

I just talked to the social worker who is handling my kids’ case. She says we’re doing “great.” I can’t believe her. We hear how “wonderful” we’re doing every time we talk to these assholes, but then we go back to court and every time its the same thing. Nope, can’t have the kids back. Need to jump through more hoops. Need to pay out more […]

7/18/2012 2 comments

I can’t take anymore

by thefailure 7/18/2012

written by thefailure

I’m done. Nothing I do is ever enough, and it never will be. My entire life has been one big failure after another, and I am so tired of trying.

Funny thing is, if you saw me on the street, you’d never know my life is a living hell. I’m “happy.” People are forever telling me how “strong” I am, blah blah blah, but I’m NOT. I just put on a good face. I go through the motions of daily life, but inside, I’m screaming.

Why do I want to die? Ha! Take your pick of reasons-I’ve got plenty of ’em! Let’s start with a little history, […]

7/18/2012 2 comments