Its been a long day, long week, long month, long life. Â I’m sick and tired of all of it. Â Sleep forever sounds like an amazing prospect. Â I know I’d be giving up on everything. Â I know it would all be over. Â Thats what I want. Â I want out. Â I want to get away. Â I want to sleep. Â I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.
I see people all around me getting loved, being in happy relationships, doing things with friends. People talk to me in school and at least pretend to enjoy my company. I don’t understand why every time I try to make a move on a girl, they stop talking to me for at least 3 months and every time I try to make plans with ‘friends’, they’re always doing something. Everyone who supported me, ever, found other people, boyfriends, other things, better ways to spend their time and it seems a chore for them to talk to me. Am I really that undesirable? Is everyone else […]
I’m back in the dark again. Â I’m cutting again and what really sucks is I can’t find my good knife.
There was this girl, and I started really liking her, and I kept baking her stuff and trying to be nice and stuff, and we were talking pretty much. So I wrote her this poem asking her to homecoming. And since then, shes just ignored me, to the best of her ability, in every way possible. I keep thinking I’m over her, but then I see her, and I just realize I’m not, not at all. I just tried so hard, it makes me feel really […]
I’m sorry to all those saying that exercise is a perfect substitute for cutting. Its a great idea but its not the same, not the same at all. I exercise daily and still often find the need to cut.
I’m depressed in really weird streaks. I’ll be to the point where I need to cut every freaking night and think about suicide for a while, and then it will let up for a short time, I still won’t be happy, but I won’t be cutting. It also always seems to strike worse in the night, thats when I usually really feel hopeless.
I don’t know why it changes. If I think about it, I always feel alone, with no prospects for meaningful friendships. I never get hopeful, just not depressed. Does this phenomenon happen to anyone else?
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m a 15 year old boy, a straight A student who just finished freshman year at a relatively good school. I am a decent track and cross country athlete, and my family loves me very much. Yet, I still constantly feel alone and useless.
I don’t quite understand people. I see people I know having fun, hanging out, and I don’t know, I can’t seem to find myself normal friends. There are plenty of people I talk to (about once a week each, about serious shit usually). I don’t know how “suicide attempt” is defined on this site, but […]