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TheOneLookingBack

hey i'm emily. i like to like poetry and i talk a lot about the past; hence my name TheOneLookingBack. i have bad depression and PTSD. look it up. :) anyways..yeahh.

I tried

by TheOneLookingBack
written by TheOneLookingBack

Nobody knew that I wanted to die.

I laughed. I was in love. I had all the friends anybody could want.

But nobody knew that I was hurting like Hell. The thought that I was living that life that I’m living made me sick. Made me tired. Made me want to give up.

I tried killing myself. I took 20 50mg sleeping pills. But I’m still here. Woke up in a hospital with hospital food in front of me. I remeber it like it was yesterday. I took the pills. Smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and gave my goodbye notebook to my mother. She took me to […]

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Fighting For Freedom

by TheOneLookingBack
written by TheOneLookingBack

I was always in the dark, but continuely fighting

Always afraid to fall asleep, and to let my head rest on the pillow

Living was and is hard, all the pushing, punching and biting

And still I sat there watching her beaten, he laughed like it was a joke

I held her, she held me

We were a very disfunctional family

When he took me from bed at night, he kept me in his room

Crying from hurt and fright

A young girl, from age three to age five

Abused and knew he was sick […]

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An Accidental Attempt

by TheOneLookingBack
written by TheOneLookingBack

Alright so I don’t really know how to do this, but whatever.I’m just going to share my story. Last year I got into alcohol and drugs. I was drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, and huffing. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wasn’t me. Hanging out with the wrong people. One day at midnight, well, September 7th. It was officially the first day of school and I was dreading it. So, me and my friend took 8 triple c’s or cold cough pills. I knew nothing about it other than it would make me feel good. And I’ve always had problems with depression […]

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